Sunday, September 14, 2008

An Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence

Je suis brilliante ! Deux fois ? Non, trois !

Well, that's how it's spelled. Don't complain to me. No, I'm not a woman. I may cry like one sometimes, but I assure you, I'm all man. Except when I'm crying or writing bad love sonnets while crying. But I make up for it by regaling the help with my POW stories, shooting moose or playing hockey.

Like our next VP, I actually enjoy hockey, though I am not a MILF, DILF or VPILF. I might be a RILF if you're sporting your beer goggles. In addition, and more importantly, I cannot skate and therefore, if I wish to play said competitive event, am confined to the PlayStation or the makeshift rink that is our living room.

I don't think my kids enjoy playing when I check them into the bookshelves. I've never actually shot anything living. Does shooting someone the bird count?

In each of the posts announcing said award, I detected, helped no doubt by the flowery prose itself, an undercurrent honoring the creative process, those of us who dig such a thing. Thus the following authorial types -- no, Unka Dick, au-thor-ee-al, not au-thor-ih-tar-ee-an; that's all you, buddy -- seven of them, because them's the rules, and I always follow au-thor-ih-tar-ee-ans. Which is why I picked only four. Ha ha!

Non, je ne regrette rien
, with her not-really-travel writing since she's already done the traveling about settling over there in -- grumble -- la belle France.

FranIAm, because even though she's Jesusy, and therefore burns my sinful flesh with her righteousness -- Satan will triumph, starting November 4, muahahahaha! -- she can get her write on -- right/write? Oh, you wacky English -- on all kinds of stuff. Yes, including travel.

Beach Bum, who can spin quite a yarn about a kid's birthday party, Mickey Spillane and why golf is evil. There's your diversity, chumps.

Despite his anti-Metallica blasphemy, the Pope of Beer and Donuts, okjimm, because the dude is either hilarious or poignant, sometimes both in the span of a single post. Unless he's talking about beer and donuts, then it's usually just the former. Can donuts even be poignant or are they, like waffles, condemned to remain merely sacrilicious?


FranIAm said...

Mon dieu! Quelle suprise! Randall, I am shocked! What's next for me - VP Award? I can see my neighbor's yard from here... That means I can be a diplo-milf! Well on a technicality, I would be a diplo-smilf, being only a step mother and not a mother.

Sarah who????

What was that about me being Jesusy? I am one of the more earthy Jesusy types and my goal is to save your soul.

Bwahahahahaha. Now that is funny.

You don't have one, right?

In all seriouslness (what??) merci beaucoup mon ami.

FranIAm said...

PS I do love France, I have been there 5 times.

So there!

Anonymous said...

Just remember - there is no crying in blogball.

DivaJood said...

I love France. Paris is ALWAYS a good idea. And hell, I only picked 5 blogs when I got the award. Used to LOVE Hockey back when it was only a winter sport with six teams, before the days that players wore face masks or helmuts. Loved the Blackhawks.

La Belette Rouge said...

You deserve this award, a book deal and for the Brown's to win. Sadly, I am only able to make one of these things happen.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Randal. You seem to be racking up these awards like french fries on a cheeseburger deluxe platter. I'd ask what your secret is, but I hear it's ancient and Chinese. Is that vrai?

Border Explorer said...

You can spell it any way you want, Randal. You're brilliant.

Great awardee choices, too.

okjimm said...

Checking them into the book cases!!! Break me up.
//Which is why I picked only four. Ha ha!// Double break me up! And thank you very much for the compliment.....and the awardee the Dude. Maybe next time just a doughnut will do.... jelly, not cream.

It has been a busy weekend....and monday.... and I am off to help Bubba write a radio script. He doesn't know what he is doing, and neither do I. All the necessary elements for male bonding.

Randal Graves said...

fran, you had to bring up the France thing, huh. I retract the award! Muah!

dcup, if I got kicked in the nuts, believe me, I'd cry.

diva, now that's some Bobby Hull old school. I will say that I think the helmets and face guards are a good idea. I'm not sure I'd want to get smacked in the jaw by a 100mph slapshot.

LBR, well, the Browns should win this weekend, and if they do, I'll credit you. Therefore, you only need to get me that book deal!

spartacus, Calgon, my man, Calgon.

BE, spellingness is next to awardliness, or something like that.

okjimm, a couple of dudes not knowing what the hell they're doing? I predict a smashing success!