No Longer Waiting for Wotan

"We'll shoot ourselves tomorrow. Unless Wotan comes."

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Wotan

"I hear something."
"Where?"

"It's the heart."
"Damnation!"

"Silence!"
"Perhaps it has stopped."

Off that vast paved abomination leaped the doomed and desperate waiters, and down through endless voids of sentient blackness they fell. Aeons reeled, universes died and were born again, stars became nebulae and nebulae became stars, and still Dante and Randal fell through those endless voids of sentient blackness.

Waiting for Wotan's Korean Vacation

Waiting for Wotan's European Vacation

"Uglee Americains, Wotan waz last zeen zees way."

"Bollocks, Wotan ran me over, stole me Python DVDs, and wen' thataway!"

 

"Dad, what's that light?"

"I don't think Wotan wants to be found."

Waiting for Wotan #18

 

♪ spear and magic helmet ♫

"Spear and magic helmet?"

"Shit, just another cosplay geek."

 


"So sick of those nerds. You know, fuck this waiting, let's go play D&D."

Waiting for Wotan #17

"Blah."

"Eh?"

"Meh."

"Heh."

Waiting for Wotan #16

"Bear, what is best in life?"

"To embrace your boredom, see time driven before you --"

"-- and to hear the lamentation of my waiting?"

"That is good! That is good!"

Waiting for Wotan #15

♪ We wait for Watain we are bored berserker ♫

"What's the matter with you all?"

♪ No work visa means no pig's blood berserker ♫

"The Spooky Master wearies of your malapropism!"

Waiting for Wotan, #14

"I was bringing this to the fair to sell it."

"Where does your shameless marketing go from here?"

"Perhaps you'll have socks someday."

"Now that's the ugliest damn bong I've ever seen."

Waiting for Wotan, entr'acte

As a treat (read: working late, like midnight late, so no work on Waiting 'cause I spent the morn curled up in a little ball because of ANARCHY IN THE USA am lazy), a glimpse inside A Very Special Episode of the writers' room:
 
EARL: "Ye olde metal ha ha ha."
DUCHESS: "Verily punk hee hee hee."
EARL: "What about chuckle --
DUCHESS: "no, try chortle --"
EARL: "I've got it, wheeze."
DUCHESS: "Why not all three."
EARL: "We've got phat rhymes --"
DUCHESS: "& you don't know how to use them. I'd rather wait for the real Wotan or the apocalypse whichever comes first than read this shit every week. I quit."
EARL: "Fuck you."
DUCHESS: "No, fuck you."
EARL: "Morello!"
DUCHESS: "Gasp! Nugent!"
EARL: "En garde!"
DUCHESS: "Finish him!"
LI'L EDGAR: "Children, fighting never solves anything except who gets to write the history books."
EARL: "Now we know --"
DUCHESS: "I'm not saying it."
LI'L EDGAR: "That's all right, G.I. Joe knows you know, you know?"
EARL: "Shall we?"
DUCHESS: "Waiting for Wotan sure beats taking loyalty oaths."
EARL: "Thank Valhalla for low standards."
DUCHESS: "Only reason we're friends."
LI'L EDGAR: "Ouch."
EARL: "Shut up."
DUCHESS: "Chortle, chuckle, wheeze."

Waiting for Wotan #13

"It's awful."

"Worse than the pantomime."

"Waiting for Wotan?"

"Waiting for Messi to score against Chelsea."

Waiting for Wotan #12

"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but, uh, what are you talking about?"
"The ending of waiting for Wotan."
"My friend here is trying to convince me that those who die while waiting for Wotan are innocent victims when they're destroyed by inertia."

"Well, I'm a loiterer myself. And speaking as a loiterer, I can tell you a loiterer's personal politics comes into play heavily when choosing to wait."
"Like when?"
"Three weeks ago, I was offered a job up in the hills, beautiful road, tons of shade, a simple hangout. They told me if he appeared in one day, I would double my price. Then I realized who I was waiting for."
"Who were you waiting for?"

"Beckett."
"Samuel Beckett, the playwright?"
"The same! The money was right, but the risk was too high. I know who he was, and based on that, I turned the job over to a friend of mine."
"Based on personal politics."

"Right! And the next week, Tom Stoppard put a hit on Beckett's minons. My friend was shot and killed. Didn't even finish waiting."
"No way."
"I'm alive because I knew the risk involved in that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. Any loiterer waiting for Wotan knew the risk involved. If they got killed, it's their own fault. A loiterer listens to his head, not his hope."

Waiting for Wotan #11

"No, don't protest --

-- we are bored to death, there's no denying it.

Good. A diversion comes along and what do we do?

We let it go to waste."

Waiting for Wotan #10

"Are either one of these any good?"
"I don't eat vegetables."
"Well have you heard anything about either one of them?"
"I find it's best to stay out of other peoples' affairs."

 
"You mean you haven't heard anyone say anything about whether carrots or turnips can help me find Wotan?"
"Nope."
"Well, what about these two?"
"Oh, they suck."

"These are the same two vegetables. You weren't paying any attention."
"No, I wasn't."

"I don't think Wotan would appreciate --"
"I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am."

Waiting for Wotan #9

 

"You gave me a fright."
"I thought it was he."

"Steve?"

"Wotan, dumbass."

 

"Pah! The wind in the reeds."
"I could have sworn I heard a fan."