Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Crappy Blog® post template 3.0

Roll d100, just like your geek quotient was normal.

01-10. Captions, fun optional

11-20. The soundtrack to Satan's eternal C-Span torture

21-30. Music for a nursing home lifestyle

31-40. Steal brilliant, obscure piece, pass off as your own

41-50. Patrol of 3-8 kobolds

51-60. Work-safe pornography

61-70. Scour the local newsies, toast the stupidity

71-80. Scour the national newsies, toast the stupidity

81-90. Scour the international newsies, toast the stupidity

91-99. Drunk post

00. Spontaneously combust


lisahgolden said...

I'm stealing this.

Really? I'm so meh right now I can hardly stand myself. I have a stack of books to read. Maybe it's time.

Demeur said...

What no obscure novel collecting dust in the nether regions that hasn't been checked out since 1963 to draw quotes?
Just how do you expect your audience to raise their collective IQ's above idiot without homework?

okjimm said...

gees.... you coulda put a little effort into writing a limerick!!!

Here... I'll get you started

There once was a lass from Sheyboygan

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Your instructions, while admirable, are incomplete. You left out the porn reference. And I thought you were a professional.



Randal Graves said...

lisa, funny you should say that, as my magically peripheral vision sees a mountain of dead trees.

Oh, I'll email you about royalty rates.

demeur, that's not a bad idea. We've got tons of asbestos-veiled, out-of-date works.

There once was a lass from Sheyboygan
Who dug up the corpse of Reagan
Called on hell
For a Brylcreem spell
And now they live happy in Waukegan

Randal Graves said...

tengrain, and what, corrupt the minds of America's youth, heathen?

Anonymous said...

I take issue with your kobold deficiency. Clearly 12-15 are needed.

Laura said...

I hope that Canada wasn't included in your 81-90!!!
Don't make me fire up the tank brother!!!

It's been awhile since you 91-99ed. Those are always good for an eyebrow raise. :)


Ubermilf said...

I think you're losing the will to blog because you miss me so much.

Susan Tiner said...

"Music for a nursing home lifestyle"


Randal Graves said...

charles, this is a low-level blog. What next, you suggesting we traipse off to DC to encounter a lich?

sunshine, that's all I need, to get plastered at work. In and of itself, that's fine, but then admin would enroll me in some mind-numbing booze-management class.

übermilf, you return, I wish to depart. Embrace the scientific method.

Randal Graves said...

susan, just my dig at the public view of classical.

Tom Harper said...

If I end up in a nursing home, I'll have all my Pantera, Slipknot and MudVayne CDs with me. When I push the call button and the nurse's aide doesn't appear quickly enough, I'll crank the volume up and up and up. I'll have the fastest service in the whole place.

Sherry Peyton said...

your attempt to plagerize my blogging methodologize is duly noted and will be prosecuted to the nth that the law allows. You do have fungible goods do you not?

Life As I Know It Now said...

I'll take 91-99. stat :))

S.W. Anderson said...

If there's one nonpolitical blogger type that creeps me out, it's the eccentric who goes systematic. It's like sitting down with a funeral director who insists on conversing in gangsta rap.

Commander Zaius said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
susan said...

I think you've plumbed the essence with this. Congrats.

Commander Zaius said...

Scour the international newsies, toast the stupidity

Now that puzzles me, we here in America are the Saudi Arabia of stupidity. Why did you feel the need to go overseas? I guess you just ain't patriotic are you?

Randal Graves said...

sherry, my goods don't have fungus on 'em, they're kept in a cool, dry place!

liberality, be my guest, for I don't think you ever have. :)

SWA, you down with six feet deep?
Yeah, you know me.
Who's down with six feet deep
Every last corpsey

susan, just watch out for kobolds while exploring your new city.

BB, hey now, we may be a lot of things, but we still permit the ladies to wear barely nothing.

Anonymous said...

A nest of lichs at the Tidal Basin, yes. Guarded by a Super-Mutant. Don't worry, I can give you 3 Nutri-Colas for the journey.