Friday, March 8, 2013

Fuck off and die

Spending spring break at home, the scribbling of my stupid paper and watching stupid footie sandwiching the stupid ham of stupid darkthroning. Sorry, ladies, this hunk of burning excitement's unavailable, though my wife wishes I wasn't. Zing. Thank you thank you, enjoy the veal, because if you saw the kitchen, you'd know it was your last meal. Badoomboom.


Fenriz freaky channels Sean Harris and Bruce Dickinson. 

Dead Early like 1982 early, Cirith Ungol, Diamond Head, Manilla Road. Ain't black, ain't crust, is Heavy Fucking Metal, all the influences us near-, at-, over-forty-somethings scarfed with greasy gusto, The Ones You Left Behind leaving a heaping plate of end rhymes like 22, Acacia Avenue was whoring its rhythm out to every Norwegian hesher.

Six tracks of classic filtered through the warped skulls of Ted and Gylve, but oh so special mention must be made of thirteen-plus minute closer Leave No Cross Unturned, King Diamond Satanic magic carpeting over boundless epic, dynamic speed, and Oxford commafuls of tempos shifting pitch. What the fuck just happened, Darkthrone just fucking happened. If only I could bellow joy like Kim Bendix Petersen and only you could hear.


Prunella Vulgaris said...

Actual comments on the youtubes:

Itsss.. Gone.. Theyre tired of  blackkk.. Metal.. Sadddd!
its good but not for Darkthrone.. they just axed half there fans and told tem to fuck there self. at least change the band name ansd stll release black metal under the darkthrone name.. but not like this.
Maaaan, i really hope they do go to hell!! This sucks:(
What the hell is thiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss????? Where is Darkthrone??????
fuckkkk... embaressed.. ridiculesss.. thats no real darktrone."

Someday the Kids will get some Reflective Powers.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Best Blog Title Ever!

Jim H. said...

"Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie." Tokien.

You know, they say Norwegians are supposed to be the most beautiful nation of people. Then again, you look at Fenriz...

anne said...


anne said...

i haven't had a chance to read this post yet her' , her day, sub / but with my perf. exact ,brev. cutting with ice ,i felt .. fennesz/of the blackest of black metal v/crane

Randal Graves said...

duchess, that's why they're still kids, because they're stupid.

if, and then when one starts reading, one is paralyzed by the suck.

jim, you get an extra 3,946 cool points for the JRRT. And every country has ugly folks, except us, AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL.

anne, I don't think I use fennel in much. Don't read, just listen.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Whatever you do, nonnie, DON'T TALK ABOUT Christian Louboutin Bridal Shoes!

anne said...

shew shoe

anne said...

'dal, i'm still dancing on the fennesz of listening ,

okjimm said...

"Fuck off and die" has a real ring to it. I do believe I will use it as my Easter Greeting....unless, of course, the Pope already has it copyrighted/

Tom Harper said...

"Fuck off and die" was a common expression in Anchorage when I was there in 1983. I've never heard the saying anywhere else, before or since.

I take it you're not planning to spend Spring Break in one of those tropical paradises like Cancun or the Bahamas.

susan said...

Imagine that happy time in the future when you and your grandkids sing along to the tune of that old family favorite FOAD.

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Beach Bum said...

I'm with Jim, spring has sprung in this godforsaken place and everyone is all happy and full of energy pulling out their lawn equipment.

Randal Graves said...

if, first rule of Christian Louboutin Bridal Shoes is.

anne, as long as I can quietly bang my head against the wall, dance all ye like.

okjimm, if he does, you can still dress up as the Easter Pope, sticking Prada shoes in little kids' baskets.

tom, the tropics are decidedly not troo kvlt.

susan, that's so touching, I'm getting misty.

BB, you poor, poor soul. I'd start drinking yesterday.

anne said...

fennes z - vacuum .. , i thought that it was a fitting time to come back and listen mentioned above as you suggested , , a large man just parked illegally in a doc's off. parking lot across the street , and went across the ave at the cross walk with out pushing the butt on in to super kol basa.

Demeur said...

Well ya can't go home again sparky....and I thought the expression was "eat shit and die" but what do I know?