Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish writing workshop?

Once upon a time, a hack hacked out a hunk of hacked-up hackwork that to the surprise of everyone in the kingdom except the king who was busy being nude, merely bordered the putrescence of a Cannibal Corpse cover unlike the last piece of tripe which, under order of a member of the Underling Order because see above, did belong in a tomb, & was in fact mutilated with snotty glee in the town square before interment.

The cackling hack, after a rousing game of sleep 'n toss, woke up, dumped a bucket of cold water on his head, scarfed down a cold bowl of tasteless bran, picked chaff from twixt his teeth, braved riding with Bus Carriage People, & reread yon eve's pamphleteering, only to find that it was among the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.














Now suffering the shame of echoing tinnitus, & shame, the hack struck upon a momentary lapse of lack of eureka & embraced sleep deprivation because when you're hallucinating, everything's at least mildly phantasmagoric & the cataract of imperfections becomes a mere dribble that's actually drool but you won't know that until after the crash so, hey, enjoy the ride, wizard scribe.

fin

Nine consecutive hours of cracker jazz sprinkled with micromanagement, or, damn it's hot in here & not in a good way

The Cautionary Tale of Home Cooking

 

Dave's not here, man

For once, I agree with a plain dealing complainer:

"My moan is to the disrespectful people who turned left from Brecksville Road into the McDonald's driveway, through the funeral procession for Sgt. Dennis Kancler. I was standing in the median with my flag. Firemen were standing at attention. People were along the road showing their respect to a fallen Marine. Some inconsiderate people couldn't wait to get their lunch. I was appalled that they did that to any funeral procession, let alone one for a hero."

It is disrespectful to eat at McDonald's when there's a perfectly serviceable East of Chicago down the street.

If you were spaced, your posting would suck, too, but au moins I don't illegally trespass, with illegality, upon the banktacular sacredness of private property, & since we're confabbing the trampling of quality under foot, verily, ich bin hungrig, & the end times are neareth,

oh, it came out of the sky, landed just a little South of Columbus
Randal drank all his vodka, couldn't believe what befell us
Laid on the books and shook fearin' for his life
Then he ran all the way to town* screamin' it came out of the sky

*which is, thankfully, not far

We are here at planet earth, where we've secretly replaced seriousness with cheap humor. Let's see if anyone can tell the difference.

How To Win Writer's Block and Influence People

I took a dip in the Dead Pool & all I got was this lousy hypothermia.




I darkthroned in the woods behind my house & listened to the trees growl back.


Alas, alas, all that's left is square one, paper & pen.

No, Tayfun, I'm not writing about this evening's infomercial.

State of the Union