One dollar bill, y'all$

After all those nature shots, the blog needed some uglifying.

The Duchess tells me Vai lost his locks.
Where that leaves his fan only the roadie knows.

Thou now ravish'd goop of disguiseness,
Thou attic-child of candy -- hey, it's Time,
Gothic thespian, you can thus express
A vampiric tale more bloody than this rhyme

Farmer, tycoon, even artist? Once again, hesher is the redheaded stepchild.

If face punching doesn't work...

Stupid hippies.

Keep watching the skis!

The chamber pot that fits in your pocket!

Will you walk into my parlour

Said the spider to the fly.

 

  
CLAP LOUDER

 

 

Or, for a mere $15 a day, clap less.

 
So that's where my $15 really went.

 
 
Space Casino, here I come.

 

Kindly go fuck yourself.

 
 
Not tackling the problem.

Randal's not here, man.

It's all about karmic relationships, baby.

All is not lost.

NO FUCKING CLUE BUT I BET YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING TELL ME

So, good folks, aside from carpet prophylactics, what angers up ye blood? Minus a million points for mention of POTUS, SCOTUS, SCROTUS, WORTHLUS.

This is what it feels like, when doves take a vacation day

Thanks to a comrade-in-armed-conflict, I will get to sit on my ass watching footie & consuming pizza rolls for the day [ed. note: can it, Columbus, or I'll live blog] which, to be sure, isn't as swanktacular as a chance at low-interruption creation & immersing within a painted apocalypse, but I've low no ambition beyond the occasional piece of occasionally not-sucky verse, a failure in progress; pretending to re-learn what little guitar I once pretended to learn; mock turtle penance for a multitude of sins; & moderately pleasant diversions before the inevitable myocardial infarction turns me into the material component for necromantic spellwork, verbal & somatic sold separately.

Whirling dervish vs. the five deadly venoms

Oh, go fly a kite.

My Snoopy Dance is dope or fly or gnarly or some other slang term.

DHS SUV GONE STOP USA UNDER ATTACK STOP

I fucking hate that fucking thing.

Water, the Saddam of the biosphere.

Early lawyer catches the hangover.

On this blog.

This isn't --

going to --

go well.

DUCHESS LOOK OUT

This might have set the height record.

This less so.

I choose to believe they weren't laughing.

I totally trespassed on your grass, The Man.

Mind meld

Now that yours antisocial has met a local blogger other than the Duchess who doesn't exactly count being a fellow inmate at the Towering Slab, interwebs greetings, scourge of dandelions, I feel all bright young thingy. Here's where Jake would say ewww, but thankfully Space Casino scoffing is more universal than I previously dreamed of. Sometimes I love you, stupid burg.

Zombie third-rate grunge lives.
Nothing personal, guys, but T-virus vaccine, stat.

Sucker bet, n. that the shine will wear off sooner rather than later.

Because I'm awful, you can't tell the signage says Filming In Progress. For flicks more thrilling than either that or this, come back for the late show wink nudge.

Okay, lead the way --

to mold --

& smokes? At least I don't feel ripped off.

Animal farm, or, big trouble in little China

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but by being eaten alive by the animal kingdom in a mirror universe Faces of Death with an elephant or a weasel behind the camera