Friday, April 27, 2012

Full service, or, star-crossed transactioning, or, I'm still twelve years old hee hee hee

I live to give.

♪ boomchickawowowow ♫

I'd do anything for customer service training, but I won't do that.

Trying to buy my silence?

I will not be ignored.

Better that zone than a phantom one.

Although, they've neither patrons nor micromanagers, lucky bastards.


Prunella Vulgaris said...

I'm waiting to see what snark your commenters are going to add to this one.

Well played, clerk!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Please take the L'ENNUI MÉLODIEUX customer survey.

Help Managing Member Randal Graves turn this blog up to eleven!

Randal Graves said...

duchess, hey, if you hadn't found this wondrous manual to better living through workplace theatre, passersby would be stuck staring at trees.

Hey, you're the worst person ever.

if, fuck that. Creating, distributing, collecting, interpreting surveys is work.

Laura said...

So, you'll do anything for customer service training (except fill out the form)... does that mean you would actually train? Cause, I'd love to see you in training to serve us... :)


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You're not sounding like the blog CEO today, R.G.

Prunella Vulgaris said...


Jim H. said...


Poor bastard, had to sit through that seminar. Fuck that.

Love Ms. Prunella's [?] black/purple finger tip!

I made $500 one time for going to one of those customer focus group things for my bank. Seriously, $500! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

anita said...

If only my clients knew how much I hated them. Smiling (even "phone smiling") at people who are screwing you (and not in a good way) takes so much energy for so little payoff.

Randal Graves said...

laura, training = effort, so no. Totally gets in the way of my zoning out.

if, if (if? if) this was a corporation, I'd be eating stale cheese out of discarded pizza boxes under the Detroit-Superior bridge.


jim, I hope this post didn't conjure up another round of customer service training. It's been too long, and I don't feel safe.

I think she just voted.

FIVE HUNDRED? Yes, have some!

anita, you know, I can tell whether you're flashing your pearly whites or not. If you really cared, you'd be using your internets smile.

Demeur said...

Psychographics? I haven't seen them since I dropped acid in the 60s.

susan said...

That book must be a rare antique; customer service nowadays is 'Take and shut up'.

Randal Graves said...

demeur's not here, man.

susan, that's unfair. I may have scowled at them, may have napalmed them, shot them with poison arrows, dropped a piano on them, but I've never told a customer to shut up.