Friday, December 17, 2010

Anger management, or, the semester's over, now I can waste even more time shaking my fist at the clouds

People get ready, there's a train a comin'
You don't need no baggage, you just get in line
All you need is somethin' to block the diesels hummin'
Don't need no ticket, 'cause we're outta time

Sorry Curtis, I like my version better.

"This is how it all will end, not with floods, earthquakes, falling comets, or gigantic crabs roaming the earth. No, doomsday will start simply out of indifference."

Seems that everyone's zeitgeist is riled up these days about various & sundry: angry loners; comrades in bookmanship; the unemployable; my sometimes-better-half, shockingly not at yours truly for once even though it's her fault 98.6% of the time. Is it navel gazing if I'm gazing at everyone's else navel gazing at everyone else's navel? Is it navel gazing at all if it's some form of political? Being stupid & lazy, questions way above my pay grade. Serendipitous in some respects, as said spousely anger spontaneously discharged in a conversation last night between noodles, the finer points of porn, a one-man rant on the awfulness of the non-Boobie Cavs gleefully ignored by the rest of any nuclears within earshot & the offspring's progress reports. Quite odd given that we usually spend our dinners alternating scowls & uncomfortable silence. Bet our kids spiked the teapot.

Anyway, I wouldn't say I suffer from indifference, merely that I just don't care. I kid, I kid. Sort of. Now, I can't say I've witnessed grocery cart chicken in the local feedbag -- though I once did get coins thrown at me whilst on library duty, true story -- but I'm on board with sporting the toga! toga! of anger, though chez Randal's brain, is it directed specifically towards our beloved generation of three-piece action figures with the kung-fu grip or at said plastics as merely the latest in a long, inexorable line of institutionalized assholery? Or is it rooted in something more selfish, since I honestly do prefer a minimum of face-to-face interaction, these monsters merely the most grotesque, thus convenient, visage placed on this quirk of my personality, a surfeit of righteous indignation soon discarded with the greatest of ease as I trapeze back into the Bat Cave?

Sure as hell ain't SAD as, contrary to certain cheese-eating surrender Californistanianites, I love me some cold, blustery weather. Misery loves my hospitality. The omnipresent, if sleeping, burnout ready to awaken & crawl up from Tartarus? Phlegm better kept under wraps? Who knows. What I do know is that I'm a firm believer that the extent of my, or anyone's, ability to permanently influence others rapidly (read: rapidly) shrinky dinks the further out from the inner circle we go, thus the best I can hope for is to teach my children well like a good non-hippie -- something gaining more & more TV time as one's about to sayonara high school & the other's nearly to join, Christ I'm old -- to 1)not be a motherfucker; 2)assume the worst of everyone & everything until proven otherwise & 3)distrust authority, the unholy headwaters, wellspring, font & source of motherfuckery. So unless 6 billion non-motherfucker motherfuckers flip the metaphorical, literal & extra-literal (conspiratorial hack 'em ups & assorted other extra-legal shenanigans) bird, good luck solutioning, suckers. Shrug, additional shrugging & tunes.

Pimpin' cynicism ain't easy. But it is comfortable. 

Whether that's a fault is a line for another day.


sunshine said...

Ohmyjesuschrist... what the hell?
Randal! You make my head explode!
Let's see what I gleaned from all of this.

You and your wife had.. "words" last night. Since you brought up porn and boobies, I'm assuming there was some sort of angry sex that took place afterward. (the best kind non?) ;p

You know.. you could have SAD. Just because you enjoy winter doesn't mean that your body does. Could it be that Mr. Doom and gloom actually DOES require some sunlight? I think you do. Just my opinion and yes.. I am a Doctor so believe me. :)

I've been listening to the song as I type this out-very nice! :)

Gawd... I should have just said something like-"Eat @ Rays!"... probably would have made more sense that what I typed out.


BDR said...


That my daughter is a happy, trusting, optimistic soul is a sign I'm either a hypocrite or a bad teacher (until I remember I don't hold to either/ors).

Jack Crow said...

Aye, thx too. My oldest is happy, trusting, optimistic, as well. I feel like I'm failing him, or short of that, almost always a complete dick for not encouraging his heedless optimism.

Then I step out my door, look at the Catholic Children's Prison across the road, the cell phone tower being built atop the nursing home next to it, and the once beautiful mountain now covered with broadcast equipment cancer, and I could PAMF.

Liberality said...

Are you asking ME these questions cuz I sure as hell don't have any answers? ;~)

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, we rarely have words, but this actually was a case of her going on a politically-themed jeremiad, strange given that that's usually my territory. Thus, sadly, no angry make-up sex. :)

The sun makes people melt! And it's about time someone other than poor Tom dug one of my Youtubes.

BDR, part of me thinks that - naively? Magic 8-ball says too early to say - with more happy, trusting optimists, the world would suck less, but then the realist in me remembers that there will always be enough motherfuckers to game the system.

I figure if we can get our kids to survive, we've succeeded.

jack, I wonder if that old trope of wanting a better life for our kids is hardwired beyond mere extension of the genetic line, and that we think more kids like this can at least inch us towards less fuckery. Luckily for you, you've got real world reminders to set such things straight. Heh.

liberality, merely posing them as I'm the *last* person to have an answer on anything beyond who holds the single-season record for passing yards.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Things could be worse...

"Cephalon founder and CEO dies, shares jump $2.00..."

Freida Bee, MD said...

This may be the most personal I've seen you get here, even if it is shrouded. It's good to get shit out, you know, here there, everywhere, even Dr. Seuss said so, and you know he's the medical professional I trust.

Mr. Bee and I could never ever talk politics. Though some of it was a disagreeing, there was a major kink on our communication. I can't blame it all on him, but I do.

Mia said...

Wow! You have great taste in music!

Randal Graves said...

if, are you suggesting that if I fake my own death that I'll become rich?

FB, if that's indeed the case, I hope I don't get arrested for indecent exposure.

Mrs. Graves & I see glasses-to-glasses politically 98.6% time, exactly as often as domestic fuckeries are her fault, but we simply don't discuss it. I just tend to rant and rave from time to time. Which explains the lack of discussion, I suppose. Heh.

I would not vote them with a fox.
I would not vote them in a box.
I would not vote them here or there.
I would not vote them anywhere.
I would not vote dum or gooper ham.
I do not like them, Bee-I-am.

mia, duh!

susan said...

I have a kid who I'm guessing is pretty close to your age - therefore not to be called a kid by anyone but me. He tends (from what I can deduce) to enjoy the company, wittery, and entertainment value of individuals while loathing the despicable elements among us. What else can a parent ask for beyond having a child who can take care of business and keep their eyes open?

thatgirl said...

aw you posted my favorite Kyuss song before I could!

It's a good thing you didn't put 'stoner rock' on your sheet for musical preferences.

Randal Graves said...

susan, funny, that's exactly what Randy Bachman's parents said. Muah.

thatgirl, I win! It's got that sneaky melancholy vibe that fits. And you're probably right, but it would be comical to have them suggest a twelve-stepper.

Mary Ellen/Nunly said...

Hell, Randal, I forgot that I need to wear my trusty, super-duper L'ennui mélodieux de-coder ring when I read your posts.

It's ok to talk about porn at the dinner table as long as said conversation ends with "just kidding dear, I would never look at a naked woman other than yourself, no one can compare to your beauty." Sheesh...I thought all men knew that! Of course, I'm sure your kids pretty much tune out anything you say so they didn't hear any of it anyway. Right?

Oh...and I blame you for the bad weather for no other reason than I don't know who else to blame and you're so surly most of the time that your moods are bound to affect the atmospheric conditions. So...knock it off. I want some sunshine.

Beach Bum said...

assume the worst of everyone & everything until proven otherwise

Damn straight, and hold on to All incriminating material. It's a cutthroat world out there and the winner is the one with sharpest knife.

Tom Harper said...

Loved the Sarah Palin quote from MockPaperScissors:

"It’s a prayerful consideration because, obviously, the sacrifices that have to be made in order to put yourself forward in the name of public service is, it’s brutal."

She's using shorter sentences and better grammar. She'll be president someday.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

if, are you suggesting that if I fake my own death that I'll become rich?

No, I was just suggesting that dying is bad enough. But if you die and a bunch of anonymous electrons cheer said death through the series of tubes with Profit$$$, that could be worse.

La Belette Rouge said...

This post made it clear what my Christmas wish is. I want your kids to blog what it is like to have Randal Graves for a father. I would pay full retail to read that book. Truly, I cannot imagine how much fun they have trying to figure out what you are saying. I bet they spike the tea just to lower your IQ( it must be taxing to have genius for a father).
P.s. Most people slack during the vacation. No slacking here.
p.s.s. It is cold in California. Does that mean hell has frozen over?

Lisa said...

Next time, ask for singles to be stuffed instead of coins being tossed. The library will never be the same.

Randal Graves said...

nunly, hell, my sometimes-better-half tunes me out but if I had weather control mojo, you think I'd limit myself to simple arctic cold fronts barreling over my fellow unwashed massians?

BB, I've got a butter knife. Those are kinda sharp.

tom, we can only hope. Free blogging material for the first month at least, until we all get bored.

if, I'll have to give Kenny Lay, Elvis and Morrison a call to see how they pulled it off.

LBR, that tome would find itself in the bargain bin before it was published.
P.S. if you're referring to me, I'm not on vacation yet, but soon soon soon!
P.P.S. what's California cold, 60°? :)

lisa, they say reading is sexy, but I've yet to encounter dollars in the waistband.