Thursday, December 9, 2010

Will playing tiddlywinks cost students jobs with the federal government?

Future minions of the state & hangers-on at gold-plated Chechen nuptials, are you worried about job security due to drinking curiosity from the leaky faucet of The Man? A bit of advice from someone with years of experience in avoiding getting caught slacking at work: paper football. Find your local commie -- every burg has one -- purchase their friendship via ironic t-shirts, have them print Wikileaks out & after reading 'em, sportify 'em, then when you hear the big three-piece strutting down the gilded hall, hit that game-winning kick into la poubelle. Unlike tiddlywinks or porn surfing, cleaning up incriminating evidence is already built into the game & what are the odds that your cubicle is under 24-hour video surveillance.

Take that, fascists!


sunshine said...

Is that how you make friends??
Buying ironic t-shirts?
I never knew! Thanks for the tip.

Funny post Randal babes. As usual you had me snickering away... :)

P.S. Which ironic t-shirt should I buy for you this Christmas??

Randal Graves said...

Ah, I worded that poorly. I meant ironic in a hipster sense, how the morons drink PBR not for taste because that would be like choosing liverwurst over pepperoni pizza but because it's making a statement of their inherent, aloof coolness.

You should wear a t-shirt with a picture of an iron and "-ic" after it. That would be kinda hipster, no?

Make paper footballs, not war.

sunshine said...

Well when you wrote "commie", I just assumed you were talking about yourself. ;p

Oh! So you're buying me a t-shirt now? I'm the hipster???

Okay Randal-whatev.... :P


muddleglum said...


Sorry, but you missed the point. This is the Federal Gov't they are talking about. Anyone playing tiddlywinks on gov't time is not worth keeping, hidden or no.

Take me and my buddy, for instance. After just a few months working for the U.S. Treasury, our skills at checkers, a real man's game, were over the top. Paper football? (Yawn) Superbowl capabilities, but we tired of it quickly--not cerebral enough and the fun of seeing the point of the triangle over the edge soon faded. Not edgy enough, so to speak.

My buddy was more ambitious than I, I'm ashamed to say. He also learned to balance a column of two gov't issued pencils, one atop of the other.

Tiddlywinks! Pah! What IS this nation coming to?

Tom Harper said...

You're fired.

S.W. Anderson said...

Hard work is the yeast that raises the dough. ;)

Lisa said...

Look at you! Always watching out for the little guy.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Real men and women play Go at work.

susan said...

Technically deprived management is still a common workplace occurrence. I became an expert at computer Mah Jongg and my boss always thought I was working on spreadsheets.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, bah, all isms are worthless!

muddle, they're gonna meddle when you get busted with Risk spread out on your desk. It's all about an obfuscating subterfuge.


SWA, tell me, what's fantasy land really like? Oh, tell the leprechuans 'hey.'

lisa, why wouldn't I, they're so goddamn short.

if, you're spying for our Chinese overlords, aren't you.

susan, I dig a good game on minesweeper, but with the timer, a bit difficult to play unless one can guarantee minimum interruption.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Is there a tiddlywinks facebook app? Inquiring workers want to know.

Dr. Zaius said...

You can't spend the rest of your life crying. It annoys people in the movie theater.