Friday, March 2, 2012

Orthodox rites, or, put down that fattening donut & have some doggerel instead, or, this dump nutshelled

Fenriz says what is this that types before me?

Check this eloquence:
zen New Jersey nowhere,
how now brown bureaucrat --
shocking, a Simpsons' reference.
Next, offspring elder + younger are
cool cats, the sometimes-better-half
half-crazy, half-frustrating.
About me, what would she say,
let's not say. Hey, I said, hey,
Jesusfreak, secular humanist,
each one full of equal shit.
What of democracy, anarchy,
celtic frosted flakes would agree with me:
one in the same. Wait, you say,
no, go blow it out your craw,
the wisdom of crowds
is crowned oxymoron king,
ruling wherever the unwashed sing,
every bus, every train, every shower
everywhere. Darkthroning is sexy, too,
except when I croon. I can't carry a tune
so never sing (it's true) but shoot shoot shoot
flowers, rust, & trees, & hopefully
the Duchess doing a Dio --
shit, almost forgot to self-censor
me, your monkey dancer,
a dancer for boredom
existential. Hardly, maybe, certainly
but don't worry baby,
unfurling, beauteous petal,
at last, here's the metal.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The Grog Shop in Cleveland on Monday October 19th 2009?

Was you there, R.G.?

Randal Graves said...

Lamentably no, but my musickall rapacity knows no satiety, so I've seen them a few times.

Prunella Vulgaris said...

When I think of Celtic Frosted Flakes, I think of Lucky Charms with flakes instead of oats.

Randal Graves said...

Tom Fischer stole the yellow moons to fuel, via alchymie, his *heys* and Lucky has to get them back.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Leprechauns are scary!

zencomix said...

Years ago, a buddy Fred and I had a 3:00 am to 6:00 am Friday morning radio show, The Entropy Show. We played whatever we felt like playing, but we also played all requests. If someone was awake at that ungodly hour and wanted to hear a Mr T public service announcement, we played it.

One night, a dude called in and requested Metallica's Sanitarium, and of course we put it on. But because we were a college station, we had to read PSAs on air, and Fred read a thing for the YMCA advertising their martial arts classes (Ju jitsu, Jeet kun do, Tae kwan do, and Wi fokm yang) during the first minute of Sanitarium. Just as he finished reading the PSA, the lyrics kicked in.

The dude called back, very upset that we had disrespected the song, ruined the integrity by talking over the intro, called us assholes, etc. We hung up and switched the speed on the vinyl from 33 to 45. Talk about your Speed Metal! He called back with death threats, so we hung up and put on a New York Dolls record.

Where was Fenriz in the summer of '86?

Prunella Vulgaris said...

As a current college radio dj, this made me smile.

Randal Graves said...

if, I figured that if anyone would post something from the Warwick Davis oeuvre that's not Willow, it'd be you. Bastard.

zen, hanging out in Haiger, of course!

Why didn't that guy already own a copy of Puppets? Poseur.

Tom Harper said...

Another metal band I've never heard of. There seem to be a lot of them. Nice shredding.

Anonymous said...

It depends on the donut, really. I'd drop a chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and sprinkles to listen to Yanni or Zamfir, but make it a yeast-raised glazed donut and I'm not dropping it for anyone! Nobody's ever offered a donut that is frosted with snow like Aonoch Mor, however!

susan said...

I was suffering from information overload but I feel better now.

Beach Bum said...

wisdom of crowds
is crowned oxymoron king,
ruling wherever the unwashed sing

That is why I desperately want to buy a sailboat and find some isolated island far away from the mob.

Randal Graves said...

tom, I highly x3 +1 recommend picking up their stuff. Extra angry Motörhead meets Robert E. Howard meets WTF.

karl of the österreich, glazed over custard? You're not from Scotland at all!

susan, behold the awesome power of a post with no point.

BB, I hope you have prior experience running a speakeasy.

okjimm said...

don't you know any nice songs....?

Demeur said...

Eeek where was I? I missed another snarky blathering from the prince of slackers. Now get back to it. Those books won't walk themselves back to the shelves ya know. Oh forgot there's the work studyers for that dirty little task. No grim on hands for the elite of ivory covered halls.

zencomix said...

Prunella, keep on rockin' in the free world!

Jim H. said...

Sux about Ronnie Montrose.

Randal Graves said...

Everyone, spin some Rock Candy.