Hier, our youngest had to turn in her social studies essay
USA A-OK Cesspool on the Potomac Why I'm Proud To Be An American. After initially chuckling at the very existence of the premise & checking the calendar to make sure it wasn't 1961 & that Alan Shepard wasn't bopping below the constellations take that you filthy reds, I chortled something about the pen being mightier than the sword but I say fuck the pen because you can die by the sword!
When I recognized that she didn't get the live Slayer reference, I cried at my failure as a parent. Sob. Anyway, though not chock full of the polysyllabic words I enjoy tossing out on occasion to strengthen the occasionally-useful illusion that I'm smarter than I actually am (boobies! burgers! Browns bad! bleorg!), my gasted would be flabbered if the teacher didn't call and/or write demanding our presence at one of those conference gigs.