Saturday, September 3, 2011

Night in the ruts


Good thing I can't afford coke.

If I could afford anything, it'd probably be an opiate. Do I look like I would enjoy being a human pinball BUY LOW SELL HIGH? The confluence of flesh, electric, & abstraction is a magnificently awful thing to behold when one's at the center, an inverse big bang where the only thing born is a debilitating stasis continually expanding whilst enveloping, pulling molecules apart whilst suffocating them.

What, too much melodrama?

Existential crises are cool, dood.

Various sources here, there, & everywhere legit bitching about legit things, 98% said better than I ever could on those days when I actually give a fuck because let's be honest, gentle readers, nothing is ever going to change but the form of the fuckery (dreamers &/or idealists are so cute); or folks with actual problems &/or observations beautifully articulated, & that leaves me with disturbingly unimportant garbage in the shape of cheap guffaws or coded personal shit that may indeed be important to me, personally, but that is also singularly unique to 357% of the population, male or female or Zeta Reticulan, between the ages of eighteen and ninety-six because virtually everyone else is a selfishly naive asshole, too, save like three of you & honestly, who the fuck could I even tell besides the black notebook. Consequences for truth? No thanks, bub. Thus, redundantly pointless redundancy or yawns spelled out using a variant form of almost English FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS YOU'RE NOT STARVING OR (THAT) BROKE




[insert bad verse]

What did I tell you. Redundant. But I repeat myself IT ALL SUCKS BECAUSE

[insert power chords]


Play it loud
or Satan will burn down
your fucking hovel.

Back next week, but only 'cause I'll be bored at work.

& now I'm in 13% less of a bad mood, woo, but don't YOU make me laugh or I'll punch you in the face THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT

Hey, a penny.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Satanic Goats! FROM HELL!

Freida Bee said...

Ah, the ever perky lament of lack of real problems. I hope your writing never catches such a break.

You could manufacture problems galore in your mind and then share them with us allegorically. None of us would ever suspect that you the person could have an actual problem, at least as far as our decoder rings could tell.

Anonymous said...

Night in the ruts indeed! OOF! That sickening feeling when your ruts get squarely met with a swinging boot. OOF!

The coolest existential pain is no heat in the winter, living where it actually gets cold in the winter. So cool, it's freezing! "Lookit those lazy, schizophrenic street people trying to stay warm on those steam grates! If they'd just get a parchment and a career, they'd have a better lifestyle. Or at least a less offensive one!"

(this, a sentiment I'd hear regularly back in The Capitol Swamp)

Jim H. said...

Swing down ATL way, we can take in the Coke museum. You can have as much Coke as you want. And taste all the world-wide variants.

Oh, coke. My bad.

Beach Bum said...

Existential crises are cool, dood.

While not as irritating as some outlandish comment referencing the supernaturally perky "Up with People" collective please accept this quote:

"If it suddenly ended tomorrow
I could somehow adjust to the fall
Good times, and riches, and son-of-a-bitches
I've seen more than I can recall"

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Did someone put some uppers in your Uppers? You seem more cheerful than usual.

Sick, Sad World - I was watching Daria last night, and I would totally watch SSW if it were on the teevee box.

Have a nice week off.



Lisa said...

Back up a second, fella. Which code?

thatgirl said...

Just like Tolstoy's unhappy families being unhappy in their own way, it's the same with individuals... I think, hence the vast wealth of beautiful cathartic writings and music and art.

Uh yeah, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about but it kind of makes sense but I do know that the exclamation THAT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT isn't going to cut it in this case.

susan said...

Just imagine looking back to see these as the good old days.

S.W. Anderson said...

"an inverse big bang where the only thing born is a debilitating stasis continually expanding whilst enveloping, pulling molecules apart whilst suffocating them."

Randal, you've just revealed a major fast-food chain's heretofore secret process for self-cooking burgers within faux buns, all of it wrapped in "ovenmatic" foil. Pull the exposed string hard and fast, set it on a plate and enjoy the aroma of 100% beef substitute sizzling as its insulating bun rises and bakes. Just be careful about how you dispose of the little radioactive pod.

Randal Graves said...

if, The Devil Rides Out!

FB, take one-act plays to the next level? I hate that phrase. What about plateau? Or steppe? The Golden Horde time machined, sacking Noo Yawk after commandeering a fleet of Pan Am 747s.

karl of the österreich, I don't believe in nothin' no more, I'm going to law school.

jim, they don't make Yahoo, do they? If so, they should be suicide bombed for that toxin.

BB, I saw some TV shows, does that count?

tengrain, then I'm doing it wrong. Speaking of TV shows, SSW would be better than even Gimme A Break.


thatgirl, I don't know what I'm talking about more, I hope you're ready for Peonage fisticuffs, tough gal.

susan, thanks for reminding me that I need new spectacles.

SWA, Doublemeat Palace!

Demeur said...

So it's opiates you're after? Oh goody now I can break out the Poe. Always liked a midnight dreary. Oh never mind never more.

Tom Harper said...

Night in the ruts -- wasn't that an Aerosmith album title back in the '70s?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...


Yes, it's on youtube!