Thursday, October 27, 2011

Speak softly & carry a loud heart

LONG LIVE FLASH! YOU'VE SAVED YOUR EARTH, HAVE A NICE DAY.












Despite the best "efforts" of PTBs various & sundry, the city continues to die after nine ten (+ accurate, but alliteration makes me all tingly), & doesn't feel threatened by a group containing itself to one quadrant of one Public Square, thus, what baby shampoo benevolence, look ma, no tears.

Shocking. 



A THREATENING DILEMMA 



Thirty-seven billion words screaming to spill (ed. note: but not on that second thing but I'm sure you can have fun in comments I guess just be sure to read the first; that; that; & that other fuck-if-I-know; maybe that; definitely that), about thirty-six I should, thirteen I will. Is that thirteen? Editor's notes don't count. Lucky day. A shot here & there sit idling, most (ed. note: some one) better than yesterday's quantity-face-punching-quality gig & attendant lack o' words from your friendly neighborhood lackwit, though still ick.

So, a joke.

Insomnia, booze & ______ walk into a bar. The bartender says [bar joke part 2]. Booze drinks himself to death, & insomnia trips over booze's corpse, falling into an eternal sleep.

Don't ask me what happened to ______.

Always couching the serious in humor. I hate defense mechanisms. 



THE EARL PRESENTS, GOOGLE AD HAIKU BY THE DUCHESS


















Given my miserable failure as a submission machine -- I'll pause for the inevitable double entendre commentary, you're welcome -- once upon a blue moon I decided that any future batch of versifying will be comprised solely of stanzas molded from the raw clay of gmail Google ads, sure to be a winner in the eyes of the next MFA Bot gatekeeper.

While I continue to avoid getting around to that, enjoy a piece in the same vein from the non-fugly half of Peonage Local no. 13 on one of our favoritest people.

Ford trucks and babies
deer huntin' for the family
offroading Krampus

12 comments:

Beach Bum said...

Ford trucks and babies
deer huntin' for the family


Throw in some beer, country music, and a pig roasting on a grill and it sounds like a party!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Don't ask me what happened to ______.

Tequila mockingbird?
~

okjimm said...

//Insomnia, booze & ______ walk into a bar. //

ooh ooh ooh... I like that.. this is gonna be a fun fill in the blank.. but first.. a few questions.

Was it a gay bar?
Was it happy Hour?
What was insomnia drinking?
Was the bartender Irish?
Where was the bar?
Was the neon light up front working?
Were there a priest and a rabbi present?
Any Siamese twins in the back?

C'mon, help me out here!

Randal Graves said...

BB, Darkthrone, son, holy Darkthrone.

if, bzzzt!

okjimm, I ain't violating National Security clauses merely for your enjoyment.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Things must be tough in Vatican City for Benny-the-Rat to trade in the Pope Mobile to ride side-saddle with Satan.

Regards,

Tengrain

thatgirl said...

Jucifer+Krampus+PeonageProps=awesome.

S.W. Anderson said...

When I was a teenager, I discovered a fun diversion in the random juxtaposition of song names on jukebox pages. The jukebox had satellite boxes mounted at one end of diner tables, and you could turn pages to select songs.

So, going down a page list you might see

Daddy's Gone, (I'm Just a) Lonely Girl, Bring It On Home To Me.

Walkin' the Floor Over You, Town Without Pity, Who's Sorry Now?

That kind of thing.

Jim H. said...

Oooh oooh I love mad libs. Let me play. Okay, here goes:

"writer's block"

["what'll you have?" All three say "hair of the dog that bit me."]

"writer's block tries to come up with a mad lib, kinda' sorta' and decides to blog about it instead."

Too soon? [I speak, of course, from experience.]

Randal Graves said...

tengrain, St. Nick is gonna kick you in the balls.

thatgirl, we are the road crew.

SWA, those are all kernels of future stories, so get writing.

jim, huh, I guess that could be construed as a Mad Lib, but honestly, I couldn't invent a joke to save my life & only wanted to get to the mock Twilight Zone ending. I mean, drink.

Tom Harper said...

What? The Good City of Cleveland is actually allowing those America-hating anti-business parasites to lie around, protesting and smoking LSD, 24 hours a day?

Demeur said...

Hey did you steal my clown and monkey gig from yesterday?

I know I'm late I got stuck on the cyber wheely bus. So here's a note from Mummy.

Randal Graves said...

tom, don't be ridiculous, no one can afford LSD. Why do you think there are so many meth labs in Ohiostan?

demeur, is this a John Wayne Gacy thing?