*Almost one more case of the title outswanking the contents, but Uncle Acid fucking rules enough to temporarily halt the devilish effects of summer, the unspoken CHORTLE, & the holy fuck I'm so fucking bored with this.
Roll d6 for rumor control:
1. Wotan's bolt killed waiters dead.
2. Sacred cow scoffing exhausted in a ditch.
3. Olly olly oxen markets up 545%.
4. All this food talk makes one hungry too late.
5. Is off campaigning for Cthulhu.
6. Found a scroll with Rip Van Winkle's Improved Sleep.