Friday, November 20, 2009


my brain just went splat, spit
gore, alleyways flush with flesh and bone,
scarlet stone stained agitated tones.
Violence! Violence! for twelve pence
and not a shilling more,
I'll be your self-inflicted whore.
Mind, would you mind, toss Gutter out!
Rot rot rot, these rivulets lie
in a state of regret so I imagine this and that
'cause I don a mad hat, and rarely underwear.
I kid, I kid, don't need that on video.
Nudity? That's fine, I meant tea time,
one lump or two, I've got two. In my pants!
Chance rhymes with that, acid in the Thames
is the most plausible explanation
for orthographic prestidigitation, peyote
from somewhere beyond the sea.
Bobby, sing another one 'cause I can't,
even in looking glass fun. Ask my eye,
'tis no fib, rib-tickler -- listen,
and bring some of that old fungal magic, too:
ask twenty baroque or an austere two,
ask 'why is Poe like a china hutch?'
That went over like a lead balloon,
so I should skedaddle
and paddle towards tunes with or without a fiddle.
Play that funky music, organ grinder!
No, it really does grind organs, yours,
if you don't shut your fucking piehole
and who doesn't know a cannibal
or three? They even made a movie,
filmed in the usual place.
Would I, me, like to be served to we on a plate?
There's the other! I never lie.
The reviews are in, hit rewind,
they're all the same all the time,
ever listless hour fast-forwards this single-camera crime.
Inherit love, hate from yellowed days -- wait, wait, wait,
scrub a dub blood, it never goes away.
You can't kill what's already dead.


La Belette Rouge said...

Happy to hear that underwear are worn. Hats are optional. Underwear is not.;-)

Holte Ender said...

Have you been curing felt? Thought your words had a Tom Petty quality to them, which is a good thing.

Demeur said...

Toil toil bubble and boil
Out damn Spot but Spot is dead
Killed by the cat cause the cat is back. Satisfaction you know. Lost all nine lives and what a pain cause you can't kill a ghoul you know.

TomCat said...

No wonder he gets so snarky. His underwear is overly starched. ;-)

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

I did not know you wrote for Hallmark. And I will thank you to grind your organ elsewhere.



Randal Graves said...

LBR, I think I screwed up any notion of seriousness with that underwear line, but I said I should have it in there. ;-)

holte, any comparison to Tom Petty is always welcome. Now if I just had 1/85th of his musical ability, I'd be set.

demeur, anyone who tries to kill a ghoul is a fool and belongs back in school to learn the golden undead rule.

tomcat, my own fault for not buying Calgon. Do they still make that?

tengrain, I can't, for that's my upcoming Christmas line.

Ricky Shambles said...

That is Stein v. Radiohead with a touch of Van Gough's nutters and Pollock's rage (in words, of course). Delicious in any sense.

sunshine said...

I think that my favOURite (hehe) line is
"No,it really does grind organs, yours, if you don't shut your fucking piehole"...
I'm just in that kind of mood today.

Underwear is so over rated btw.. :P

Great stuff, as always Randal. :)

Freida Bee, MD said...

I feel the same way, all too often.

You've got nice chops, all the better to bite me. ;)

Mary Ellen said...

I'll be your self-inflicted whore. many times have I heard that one? Promises promises. ;-)

susan said...

I think those Europeans gave up on the magic mushrooms way too soon - except for a few like Lewis Carroll. I'm glad to see you still enjoy a tasty assortment.

Tom Harper said...

"I did not know you wrote for Hallmark." My sentiments exactly. Quit being so damn syrupy and schmaltzy.

Beach Bum said...

my brain just went splat, spit

Mine too, but for me it was a small mess, very easy to clean up.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, I see a bright future ahead for you with an insurance company. Apply the same technique to their clauses, exceptions and whereases, and you could be to the insurance industry what Johnny Carson was to late-night TV.

MRMacrum said...

"The reviews are in, hit rewind,
they're all the same all the time"

Indeed they are.

Randal Graves said...

ricky, but I've got both of my ears. Of course, they don't work all that well.

sunshine, crazy, angleland-fied Canucklehead spelling. Overrated underwear? Please, do go on.

FB, and how lucky ye be, for I am famished.

nunly, you're the one with the magic lasso. ;-)

susan, no time for magic when the bottom line is only a skyscraper high.

tom, what do you have against maple syrup? I'm telling Dave Thomas on you.

BB, I always keep a wet-dry vac handy.

SWA, will I get to wear a cheap suit?

mrmacrum, sometimes reruns are alright, sometimes not.

Distributorcap said...

i knew you threw tea parties!

Dr. Zaius said...

OK, this I liked. Still, wearing a hat is no excuse for not wearing underpants.