Saturday, November 7, 2009

Come on and take a free ride

No such luck with the motorized automatic car machines, but check out this sweet gig we picked up for a song and twenty bucks because the seller didn't like our singing and demanded that we leave:













Fun for the whole family on those Sunday rides to and from Shirley Temple of Set services, en plus, 'tis convertible into a patriotic self-defense unit














in case of zombie apocalypses, Muslim (um, Muhammad, don't kill the army, kill in the name of the army, pay attention, doofus!), Christian or Jewish ones or the Browns ever showing their face in public. This is why Buddhism is a crappy belief system. Where are all the exploding, bullet-riddled bodies, all the flaming lakes of blood, all the thousands of yards given away? Yawn.

17 comments:

Holte Ender said...

When you drive your three-wheeler try and keep it under 70mph going round corners. Learn from my experience.

Beach Bum said...

patriotic self-defense unit...

Know a guy that trying to sell his Hummer which he customized with double rifle racks on both sides.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

I knew, Knew, KNEW you were peddaling it all over town.

Regards,

Tengrain

Demeur said...

Gee and you could have picked up one of those Hummers real cheap. Mount a 50cal on the roof and nobody'd stop the Graves brigade. That is until you stop for gas.

Liberality said...

Graves you swine...no, wait...wrong number there!

As for the lame Buddhists, hey, that peace and at-one-ment stuff does not allow for the building of empires. China took a country, Tibet, and is still trashing the place.

And we say we believe in promoting Democracy but where were we while Tibet pleaded for help? Oh, yeah, I forgot, consolidating our own imperial impulses...

Randal Graves said...

holte, what if put a mast on it and ride the sucker like a catamaran?

BB, since I know where you live, I know you're not joking.

tengrain, well, which is it? Pedaling or moonwalking?

demeur, too bad that'll be every five minutes.

liberality, and see where that got you! And hey, maybe Tibet should have had a bigger market than China. We gotta get our cheap trinkets somewhere.

TomCat said...

Randal, does it have a motor or is it more of a tricycle? ;-)

sunshine said...

Sorry that you didn't find anything. :(

((Hugs))
Laura

Randal Graves said...

tomcat, why, it's solar powered! They were out of nuclear unicycles. ;-)

sunshine, 'tis not the end of the world. That doesn't come until 2012, so eat your onion rings now!

Christopher said...

Buddhism may be a crappy belief system but for sheer lunacy, it's a tie between the Roman Catholics, the Mormons and the Scientologists.

Let's review:

- The Catholics think some cat named Jesus -- Hay-sus, if you're from LA, like me, died on the cross, only to be reanimated and walk out of a cave three days later and disappear into anonymity, never to be seen or heard from again. No books, no appearances on early Oprah, nothing. Oh and don't even get me started on the global priest sex scandal mess.

- The Mormons base their beliefs on some stone tablets and secretly practice polygamy but like the Catholics really hate the gays and want us to be permanent, second class citizens. Equally awful, they gave the modern world Donny and Marie Osmond.

- The Scientologists believe some oddball doctrine about tiny aliens arriving on earth millions of years ago on a DC-8 and hiding in a volcano. The Xenus think Tom Cruise is their Jesus, and Katie Holmes is their Mary Magdalene and now they control Hollywood. Much to the consternation of the Jews who used to control Hollywood.

Suffice to say, all organized religion sucks and turns otherwise rational, thinking people into Bible thumping, zombie-lemmings.

Tom Harper said...

Cool vehicle. And you'll be safe knowing you can convert it instantly into that patriotic self-defense unit at a moment's notice. If you get ambushed by them socialized medicine terrorists, you can blast 'em to Kingdom Come.

susan said...

I love the wheels. You and yours are going to be so ahead of the curve when all the gas runs out and the interstates crumble that I may feel a little jealous.

I'm still of the opinion that if everybody who believes in heaven believed in reincarnation instead, we might just have a tiny chance of having a planet to return to. As it is we'll probably all return as mold spores.

S.W. Anderson said...

I like your new wheels, Randal. The snazzy basketwork makes for a unique touch, something unheard of on vehicles these days. Who knows, maybe you'll start a trend.

If you ever tire of its open-air (or exhaust-vulnerable) charms, you could donate it to the Browns, for the team's staff car.

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

omg, I want my own diesel powered 3 wheeled wicker basket for my very own!!! think how cool that would look 'aux marchés'!!!!!

Randal Graves said...

christopher, there's a plot of a flick in there. Jesus, wearing magical underpants, flies across the galaxy in his DC-8, ready to spread the word of, I don't know, whatever the flavor of the month is by the time the film gets made.

tom, damn right. Unless the cancer gets me first, but that's what I get for having the preexisting condition of existing.

susan, that's why I can't buy reincarnation either. I'm such a pessimist, mold spores would probably be too good of a fate.

SWA, not a bad idea, but I'll have to run out and get matching clown noses, hair and floppy shoes for the entire front office.

JNRR, just imagine how cool it'll be once you add some nitro. People will know you mean business and that means good deals on fresh fruits and vegetables.

Dr. Zaius said...

All of the finest cars are made of wicker, of course.

M.Yu said...

When he fires that Tommy gun it has to slow that bike down quite a bit. That does look like fun. Riding and shooting those...