Friday, November 13, 2009

Trisketdekaphobia

I don't know what's a scarier fate to your bowel obstruction,















getting hacked out by a bloodthirsty maniac,
















or getting cleaned out with thresher-like precision!

Don't have a cow, I'm formally apologizing for the udder crapitude of this shitty post, but sometimes you're the wheat and sometimes you're the chaff, and that can chafe especially if you're using the wrong detergent or reading the wrong blog.

24 comments:

La Belette Rouge said...

The post is made all worth it be the label. You know how I enjoy a little Doug Henning.;-)

MRMacrum said...

Well at least it wasn't a post about light bulbs or hamsters.

Holte Ender said...

If I was forced to eat Triskets on Friday 13th I would consider myself very unlucky.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Your posts are the speculum of the internet.

Regards,

Tengrain

sunshine said...

I love Triskets. mmmmm... melt some cheese on them and what a snack!!! :P

Friday the 13th .. meh. Bring it on.

((Hugs))
Laura

Randal Graves said...

LBR, imagine how good my posts will be when Mr. Henning actually makes an appearance!

mrmacrum, I save such heady internetsing for the weekend.

holte, what if they were served by Jason, a real live movie star?

tengrain, did not Socrates once say, the unexamined colon is not worth shitting through?

sunshine, alright, but when you get butchered and your killer eats your box of Triscuits, don't come crying to me.

Cormac Brown said...

Uh, better to be the chaff, than the wheat sperm, er, germ?

Liberality said...

Friday the 13th! Heretics beware!

ok, I'm going home now...
:)

Mary Ellen said...

I think I'll defy Friday the 13th and go walk under a ladder and force the neighbor's black cat to walk in front of me...if I could get his lazy ass off that sofa he never leaves.

Utah Savage said...

Wait till you're old enough for the mandatory colonoscopy. You get a lovely color photo of you clean as a whistle colon. I put mine on the fridge it was so lovely. Best thing about it though was the introduction to a new drug, Versed. Sweet sweet amnesia. I don't remember a thing.

Übermilf said...

I would gladly be the homicidal maniac that chases you around with an axe. It wouldn't even have to be Friday the 13th; I'd do it any day of the week.

By the way, I met with Frieda Bee today. Your name was mentioned.

Tom Harper said...

Mmmm, appetizing picture of wheat-flavored ExLax.

Übermilf said...

Also, something combining French with sports

Randal Graves said...

cormac, excuse me, this is a family-friendly blog. Please keep your comment fucking clean next time.

liberality, you're not going home to horribly ax murder your neighbors, are you?

nunly, don't forget to break a few mirrors.

utah, in color? Now that's swanky. Got any of that Versed left?

übermilf, just an ax? I would have thought my behavior warranted a chainsaw.

Don't believe a word she said. I swear, I didn't steal her begonias.

tom, those are good eatin'. And taste better than actual Ex-Lax.

übermilf, if that's not a hoax, then I'm drinking a huge toast to Ireland. Fucking awesome.

Übermilf said...

I think it is probably a hoax. But it's still funny.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal wrote: "I'm formally apologizing for the udder crapitude of this shitty post, but . . ."

Glad you brought this up, Randal, because it's the perfect lead in to my incredibly timely and appropriate suggestion for a Christmas gift you can bestow on family and friends and fellow travelers on the wheelie bus. And, imagine the delight you'll create during the gift exchange at work.

So, get a load (ahem) of this! (Be sure to click on "find out more.") :)

Agi said...

I knew there was another reason for buying all that Dreft.

Beach Bum said...

...sometimes you're the wheat and sometimes you're the chaff...

Funny, down here we say: Sometimes you are the bug and sometimes you are windshield. Which squashed bugs is what I think stuff like Triskets are made of.

Randal Graves said...

SWA, why do you hate hippies? How many times have they saved the world!

agi, I wish they'd bring back the ancient Chinese secret commercials.

BB, that'd be fine if they were. Bugs are healthier than fast food.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Ok, that's it. If this is all it takes to post 5 days a week, I'm officially lame. ;)

I didn't tell übermilf everything, only about your Rice-a Roni/ trailer park fantasies. I think it's time you came out of the cardboard closet, Randal. I'll make out with you, if you do.

(That's reverse psychology code to get to make out with me. Seize my momentary transparency, Randal and manipulate it to the fullest extent the prime directive will allow. <=That was me channeling a chaneler.)

Randal Graves said...

FB, if you take one thing away from my blog (please don't take the black background as it's very precious to me) it's that you can put very little effort into posting because yokels, I mean, fine, upstanding humans, will comment anyway. Or at least throw rotten vegetables.

I feel a stir in my fry, number one. Prepare the holodeck for psychic shenanigans. I'm not wearing hot pants, though.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, going by your slapdash reply, I'm sure your time at the site whose link I left was minimal. Which means you missed this product, which I couldn't find yesterday, but thought perfect for your holiday gifting needs. It's OK, you can thank me later on.

Distributorcap said...

the triskets were sold out

Dr. Zaius said...

I think that I am using the right detergent, thus... ;o)