Saturday, January 21, 2012

Even Smooth Jimmy Apollo was right 52% of the time

No, I'm not reminiscing about what happened next after last week's reminiscing, so after you read the following, buzz off. Show some respect to Judge Reinhold. 

The Fucking Ravens @ The Fucking Patriots: Here, the lesser of two rooting evils is New England as Pol Pot, which in raw corpses is an improvement over SuperHitler [ed. note: so named as to distinguish the original from the subsequent cavalcade of merry boogeymen] or Uncle Joe, & thus, more root-able. I now would've referenced Roots Bloody Roots, but Sepultura post-Chaos AD is a bucket of vomit.

Not a bucket of vomit.

Anyway, the Ravens can't chuck it deep as well as they'd like, the Patriots are hearty & hale spraying hails of bullets hither & yon, oh hell one more metaphor, this sport being a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war, plus a dollop of alchemick hatr'd, et voilà, The Fucking Patriots 31-24.

The Fucking Giants @ San Francisco: Like anyone outside of Rice-A-Roni would have predicted a quintuple increase in the Saints' turnovers/game, & they still almost won, & I nailed the exact final score of the Planet Hooston game, so I'm not 4-4 in a spiritual sense, outside forces man, they're everywhere. Trust no one. Which thrower do you? You know who, but I trust the complete-r team more-r because they're better, which in the new NFL, apparently means jack, but, on another last minute toss from Smith to Davis, Joe Cool +30, 49ers 28-27.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hey, I heard (turned up to 11, of course) that there was whiskey over here??

P.S. Here, the lesser of two rooting evils is New England as Pol Pot.

I think Belichick is Emperor Palpatine. Pol Pot was no good with a light saber.

okjimm said...

Fuck the Giants... SF gotz my vote. And as far as the Ravens go... Nevermore.

Jim H. said...

I gotta' agree re ur piks this time. The NY Football Skyscrapers are hot enough to pull it off, though, even against the Miners' home field advantage. That's why you have to call it so close. Maybe best game of the playoffs. Or second.

Yes, the Boston Jingoists are superior, they have the home ad, and they cheat better. Is their D sufficient to stop the Flacco-ocrity of the Balmer O? (The reverse, as you so ably note, not being the case. They don't, by rep, hit as hard as the murderous Crows. The question remains: can they take the licks? Prolly.) Maybe even more lop-sided; & I'll take the Over.

Didn't realize you were such a fan of Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot.

MRMacrum said...

I don't pick any game when my Pats are in it. Automatic jinx. All I can say is I hope the fucking Pats win. Who they play does not even matter to me. Although a revenge rematch with the Giants would be kinda cool. But that's down the road. We still have to kick Bawlamer back to the Inner Harbor. That's gonna be tough to do.

Laura said...

A bucket of vomit.

Yummy....exactly what I needed to read to take my mind off of food.


Mauigirl said...

I'm going to have a hard time with this one. My favorite city, SF, against my hometown team, the Fucking Giants. Well, it should be a good game anyway. I am thinking your prediction may come true.

Anonymous said...

Confused I am between Enn Eff Ell and Sepultura, Baldy Moore didn't have a murderball team when I lived there, and I never listened to Sepultura when I lived there either. The Ravens ain't the Colts that's for sure!

susan said...

Hello. No pictures of walkies in Clevelandia? I must be going. I cannot stay. I came to say I must be going.

S.W. Anderson said...

". . . this sport being a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war. . ."

And here I thought it was just another extremely lucrative enterprise. Another illusion shattered. Oh well. :}

Demeur said...

Hey I could be a ref for these games. My picks were about 50/50 the same as a coin toss. And frankly Scarlet I don't give a damn so pass the Cheetoes. Isn't there at least one good movie on?