Wednesday, August 1, 2012

It's an inanimate carbon rod's world

This afternoon, the glitterati shall present the First Eighth beats me Annual Towering Slab Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. On a completely unrelated bit of current workplace yahooery, the sludge at the bottom of the cup, i.e. folks like yours truly, doth chortle at an excerpt from an actual internal email:
In doing this, we also are simplifying the policy on policies. We will retain a staff wide review of all proposed policies prior to implementation and, as always, staff can also suggest new policies. [REDACTED] will be sending the proposed new “policy on policies” out soon. And, just to clarify, we really can’t have “policies” with Board of Trustee approval, so most of what we are talking about will not be Policy, but rather policies, procedures, guidelines, rules, etc., but NOT Board approved Policy.
Gonna cleanse the Metal approved brain not with "maiden" but Maiden.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

My policy on policies is sekrit.

However, MY POLICY is to feign politeness, when possible.

Prunella Vulgaris said...


Congrats on your Nobel Peace Prize, Randal. Now when are we going to blow the loot at the Space Casino?

Randal Graves said...


duchess, since I'm the biggest idiot ever, I was thinking we should donate it to the Jimmy D Defense Fund.

Prunella Vulgaris said...

Maybe you should share some of that joy with Barack. It's his birthday you know! You don't want Mitt Romney to ruin all his fun!

Anonymous said...

I have always considered you as His Excellency so this award will be a mere formality. Screw the title, gimme the corner office and a 12% bump!

Life As I Know It Now said...

that don't make no sense ;P

Randal Graves said...

duchess, and to save your uterus from being worn as a hat.

karl of the österreich, bonuses to be paid in stale leftovers.

life, someone hasn't shifted her paradigm, synergistically.

Demeur said...

Does this mean us lowly patrons can make policy too?

May I suggest bikini and G string Fridays?

Just a thought. They do that at our coffee stands here in Seattle. Shhhh but don't tell anybody.

Tom Harper said...

For some reason, when I saw the Iron Maiden link, the first thing that came to mind was that song Teenage Dirtbag. "I've got 2 tickets to Iron Maiden, baby..."

Beach Bum said...

In doing this, we also are simplifying the policy on policies.

What few active brain cells I have have just short circuited. But I feel fine.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You people should be happy you have simple policies.

susan said...

Having read that twice - the second time to be certain it really was as chock full of redundancies as I noticed the first time, I now completely sympathize with your love of metal.

S.W. Anderson said...

So, a proposed policy on policies that won't/can't count because the board of trustees will not have given the policy on policies or any policies derived from it their blessing.

With all the people in this country who desperately need a job and can't get one, it figures that the person who wrote that e-mail has a job and probably will keep it as long as he or she wants to keep it.

Randal Graves said...

demeur, I'm not wearing a damn g-string whilst dispensing books.

tom, take two Pieces of Mind and call me in the morning.

BB, as long as you feel fine and not Fine, which needs to be approved by the Board of Trustees.

if, we're also happy we have a job. And that we have middle management.

susan, I dig my British folk, but sometimes, only a steady stream of power chords can save the day.

SWA, clarity only leads to celerity of conclusion that the technocracy speaks with a hideous bloat to cover up the gravest of sins. I think I should start submitting comments to Board approval.