Friday, May 28, 2010

Empty as a really empty thing

I'm tired of looking for places that are invariably run by pet-hating mutants who I can only pray to Cthulhu meet their end via cat scratch fevers & plagues, I'm tired of the fucking humidity, I'm tired of my loudmouth un/under/whoknowsemployed cracker neighbor and his whiny un/under/whoknowsemployed skank, I'm tired of goopers, I'm tired of dums, I'm tired of you, I'm struck with ziptacularness, but at least it's only two lousy weeks until I can plop me arse on the couch for a solid fucking month, save standing up to get a better throwing angle at the teevee when we allow yet another uncontested run on goal, poor little Timmy Howard sniff, but at least that won't last more than three games then my rooting interest is up for purchase are you listening football associations of the world?


Guitar Tim said...

I hope your power goes out cause your neighbor severed a power line. ;)
Soccer sucks, the only real sport is American Football...
Of course you know I'm kidding.....
or am I

okjimm said...

hmmmmm..... not enough vitamins lately? Need more rest? Eat at Ray's.... it's good for what wails you.

sunshine said...

You still haven't found a place that will let fluffy live with you in peace??? Sheesh! Cleveland really does suck. No wonder it's the most miserable city in the U.S.!!! (referring to the post you did awhile back) :P

You're tired of ME???!!!!!
Well maybe I'm tired of you too!
Bub. :P


Beach Bum said...

To Hell with them all if they can't take a joke.

Although, throwing stuff at a television can get expensive, ask my son.

Oh yeah, you asked about how I would cook up the tar balls I found, that's easy, deep heart attack inducing fried.

Demeur said...

I knew it. He's hooked. First the Indians then the Cavs and the Browns and now with no where left for a sports fix he's turned desperate. What's next cricket?

Tom Harper said...

Uh oh, ziptacularness. Yes, you're exhibiting all of the classic symptoms. Ask your doctor about...

susan said...

Is ziptacularness anything like zippitydodaness? I thought not. Perhaps it's time to consider a setting other than Cleveland for your ennui. Most people around here have dogs and cats (if the raccoons don't get them) and I know of a nice place that may be available soon.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Have you learned nothing from the good Dr. Thompson? Stay away from the ether, you fool.



PS - Eat at Ray's! Finger-lickin' good!

Madam Z said...

This should energize you: Try translating skank, goopers,and ziptacularness into French!

Holte Ender said...

If the US make an early exit, which is not a sure thing, it's a conversation we will have about your up for grabs allegiance.

Myself I would like a team to win it that has not won it since 1966, or failing that a brand new winner.

Randal Graves said...

tim, Yankee football is my favorite, but commie pinko footy is right up there.

okjimm, bah, I'm waiting for Monday's fresh slaughter, I mean, shipment.

sunshine, merely one more reason to loathe this wanker of a burg.

BB, you say that tongue-in-cheek, but I be some enterprising carny prepares just such a dish.

demeur, cricket? Don't be crazy. How about bikini babe billiards?

tom, ask him about what? The only med available seems to be Viagra.

susan, any library openings? I'd hate to have to land a job where one of the prime requirements is smiling all the time.

tengrain, which is why I only sniff glue!

madam z, sounds too much like work, but my curiosity has been piqued!

holte, you and your wacky optimism.

I could live with England winning, or a newbie. No Brazil or Germany though, dammit.