Saturday, May 22, 2010

It's alive! It's alive!

No, I'm not in the midst of fabricating a creature constructed from multiple cadavers, ignored & misunderstood by the populace, pain sharpening beyond the breaking point into a wholly justified rampage against a creator fearfully shunning his own work as he fights off a choking hubris, I'm trying to find a way to watch the Champions League final while stuck at the library, I swear. I haven't even gone graverobbing yet.

Before I return to science, let me first apologize for my slur yesterday against the great Diego. I don't want him to run over my leg.

Secondly, don't fuck with Ohio, Nazi checkpoint lackeys.

That's right, you don't, certainly not any sexual deviance.

Lastly, as a socialist progressive liberal centrist patriotic tax-hating teabagging who-fucking-cares-you-ain't-changing-jack-bub-the-jack-changes-you Ohioan, I retract my retraction. Cheater!


Christopher said...

Nazi checkpoints in New Mexico?

This stellar Ohio citizen is very confused. Nazi checkpoints are now found in Arizona -- one state to the west of New Mexico.

And the Stassi only stops you if you have dark hair and skin and might possibly be one of them illegals trying to get work as a day laborer or a gardener or a roofer to earn money to feed their family.

Dumb-ass Ohioan.

Beach Bum said...

This dude is clearly related to some of my fellow esteemed South Carolinians who are convinced Obama will declare himself dictator any minute.

Liberality said...

I'm sorry you are stuck in the library. Don't they have televisions there too though? I know all our libraries have televisions in them now, which I think sucks but that's me.

Demeur said...

You know sometimes I think I'm on the same page as you Randal and then I realize that I'm not even in the same library. I guess we'll just need a good book burning to set things right. Books out TVs in. Keep em dumb barefoot and pregnant.

TomCat said...

Does the library have computers? Can you get a live feed?

sunshine said...

Is it wrong that I find that guy attractive???
Not the Ohio~ins... the Diego dude. :P


Randal Graves said...

christopher, Nazis are everywhere!

BB, all pretzeldents can get their assassination on at any point. In other words, Nazis!

liberality, there's a TV in the lounge area, but out of sight from me. Nazis!

demeur, book burning is very Nazi!

tomcat, I just remembered something one of my esteemed blogger colleagues mentioned once upon a time that should work. If not, he's a Nazi.

sunshine, are you saying us Ohioans aren't attractive? Canadian Nazi!

Tom Harper said...

Hogans Heroes and AC/DC in the same post -- gotta love it.

Holte Ender said...

Hogans Heroes, AC/DC, Deigo Maradona, and Frankenstein in the same post -- Gotta love it.

Tim said...

The lesson I have learned in trying to follow Randal of Graves is to first have a beer, read twice,and grab a scotch after. And for some reason he makes sense?!?

S.W. Anderson said...

I just find it reassuring our friend hasn't gone grave robbing, although his saying "yet" is cause for concern.

Randal, being a devoted sports fan, I'm surprised you aren't packing one of those seven- or nine-inch LCD TV's. Put a mini keyboard in front of it and the boss will probably think you're working, or something.

susan said...

How is it you always manage to remind me of my favorite old-timey things.. like Young Fronkenschtein?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.

Cormac Brown said...

Dude, it was thing of beauty, even though I had to root for Inter (I was a Juventus fan, back in the day).

La Belette Rouge said...

I don't believe that you aren't creating a Frankenstein. I feel sure that in the bowls of the library there is an experiment involving a scanner machine, the Dewy Decimal system, Cleveland sport scores and the remains of a semi-living hard rocker.

Randal Graves said...

tom, now I'm sad I left out Klink.

holte, now I'm sad I left out Dracula, the Mummy and the Wolfman.

tim, not my fault the world is off its rocker. Safer than a futon, I suppose.

SWA, it was quite the game of third party cat-and-mouse. I finally got around to trying David's suggestion, and it worked, when FIFA internets goons weren't cutting all the feeds.

susan, now I'm sad I left out Peter Boyle and Marty Feldman.

cormac, I think if one didn't root for Inter, Special Jose would come to your house and kill you with his Stare Of Constipation.

LBR, ahem, shhh.