"I wasn't speeding, officer."
"Don't sass me, boy. I visually guesstimated."
Speaking of speed, let's hastily shove Jim Joyce off via a Gaza-bound tramp freighter. Quickly, someone call the Israelis collect, an activist is --
BREAKING: TERROR ALERT
"Technology is not everything," the American goalkeeper said Thursday. "Scientists came up with the atom bomb, doesn't mean we should have invented it." Good job, Benedict Arnold, now the jihadists won't stick to suitcases.
Don't come crying to me when your World Cup chances go up in a mushroom cloud, Quisling.