Thursday, June 3, 2010

Speed kings



"I wasn't speeding, officer."

"Don't sass me, boy. I visually guesstimated."










Speaking of speed, let's hastily shove Jim Joyce off via a Gaza-bound tramp freighter. Quickly, someone call the Israelis collect, an activist is --

BREAKING: TERROR ALERT

"Technology is not everything," the American goalkeeper said Thursday. "Scientists came up with the atom bomb, doesn't mean we should have invented it." Good job, Benedict Arnold, now the jihadists won't stick to suitcases.


















Don't come crying to me when your World Cup chances go up in a mushroom cloud, Quisling.

12 comments:

Liberality said...

SCIENCE!!!

Not all it's cracked up to be ;~)

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

This post is no hat trick, though I do agree with your assessment of Jim Joyce. I bet his dog even growls at him now.

Regards,

Tengrain

PS - Eat at Ray's!

Tim said...

Finally I get my revenge Graves...
http://www.myspace.com/israfelmetal
I dare you to go here, this will straighten your lanky ass right out.
James Joyce? didn't he write a book?
Oh yeah...No time for umpires, great book. I'm out of here...

Demeur said...

A lame excuse if you ask me. Kids were playing baseball with rag balls in the Dominican Republic and look how they turned out.

So does Joyce get the Bill Buckner award?

Tom Harper said...

Nice to hear Deep Purple again.

And now to be a complete heretic: Rock critics always compared Deep Purple and Uriah Heep, and their consensus was that Deep Purple ruled, and Uriah Heep was just a poor imitation. But they had it backwards. I liked Uriah Heep better, and their guitarist, Mick Box, could play circles and figure eights around Richie Blackmore. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Randal Graves said...

liberality, you're not going to make us sit down, start meditating, and going 'ohm,' are you, hippie?

tengrain, what, no love for footy or Blackmore & Co.? Heretic.

tim, bah, there are a zillion death metal-with-a-tinge-of-grindcore acts out there. That ain't spooky!

demeur, exactly, the Dominican is on the verge of taking over our nation!

tom, you sir, are an abuser of fine hallucinogens.

susan said...

Dead reckoning was the method used by the Isrealis to determine how close that aid flotilla was to Gaza.

Beach Bum said...

Its always been funny as Hell for me to see heavily armed soldiers try to connect with the locals. The mom in the picture does not look happy seeing her son hanging around the American.

Ricky Shambles said...

Tim Trumped the reference, but as James Joyce, it's obviously the representative metaphor of safe that he was pondering that manifested itself as postulated action. In another universe, it was a perfect game...

S.W. Anderson said...

Like, mondo groovy, man.

Now, to cops guesstimating speeds and a court stupid enough to say that's always good enough. Next up: cops will develop an uncanny ability to divine the concealment of contraband in anatomically sensitive areas of the bodies of particularly attractive "suspects" of the opposite sex. This, of course, will lead to the need for further investigation -- a practice the same stupid court will likely uphold.

Holte Ender said...

Don't know how he can juggle with that gun in his hand, it's all about balance. He must have a couple of hand grenades in the other hand.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ack! Science is Golden!