Wednesday, June 30, 2010

War for territory

Acquisition & tactical surrender, usage & manipulation of space.

Since I trotted out the beyond-weathered mélange of sporting, war & religious terminology, am I going to be dour, as usual? Of course not, look out below!

Betcha you don't have your own cult, Dunga.

Se o Brasil has cut her futbol fibre antediluvian --
does she now fight & tackle Dungian
& should we ask a licensed Jungian
or is such a task much too Brobdingnagian?

& while we're at it perhaps we can pester Carl for the reasons why Mr. Terry & Co. refused to attempt a defensive state that wouldn't even pass muster in a grade school intramural. Must be that long, long EPL season, laughed Carlos Tevez all the way to the quarters.

Speaking of the quarters, how 'bout some hot predictioneering? Why not, as I've been *cough* stellar so far -- alright, a youthful, energetic Deutschland upending the Three-Legged Lions wasn't a tectonic result, but as fucking poor as the American D was, at least they ran back:

Uruguay, the greatest footballing nation on earth, over the Rebel Alliance. Why? Read the first sentence, chump. En plus, they have The Other Diego. Oh, how the Dungians versus the Dearly, Nearly Dysfunctional Dutch should be a semifinal at worst. But, a gentleman never switches transport midstream, so the Netherlands it is. Let's hope we get something as thrilling as this artifact.

As for the second bracket, especially with the way these two have mastered the pitch (and the refs), we have another potential stunner in Argentina and Germany, but do you seriously think I'm going to turn away from Atomic Zen Diego and His Merry Band of Dribblers now? Spain ain't so plain, but lest we forget, the Paraguayans have a secret weapon:

Don't get me wrong, as a certified pig, I enjoy the boobies, but I'm also a big sap and the single greatest joy that I've derived so far from this World Cup is something else off the pitch. Thanks to the Blue Samurai, Doodily, my usually sports-averse & Japanese-obsessed oldest, has paid rapt attention to each and every round of 16 tie, a turn as unpredictable as England's crash n' burn was its polar opposite. I may be a simpleton for having a smidgen of faith in those overhyped fucks but this can be rectified: please please please, FA, can Capello, nab Redknapp & watch hilarity ensue. If this shall not come to pass, at least I've finally convinced someone else in my household that the beautiful game is indeed that.

In some wars, everybody wins.

Piston Honda!


La Belette Rouge said...

I didn't know Beckhem came in other flavors. Really, before this week I thought he was the only non-merikan football player in the world. I can always count on you to educate me.

Tengrain said...

Graves you swine!

I don't really have anything to say other than that, but it felt good saying it. I might say it again, you swine.



sunshine said...

I can't watch the Yousguys Tube video as it is "Blocked In My Country".
What are you American's trying to hide dammit???!!!

I'll be wearing a red and white top something similar to the ones the lovelies are wearing in the picture tomorrow! It will be Canada Day here and I MUST show my pride.

I still have cheesecake and I WISH you lived close enough to me that I could send it over for you to finish.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, I believe there are at least four or five other players, none of them named Pelé.

Now, if we can just get the sporting networks to drop their auto racing coverage for more footie.

tengrain, p.s. eat at Ray's!

sunshine, I'm sorry, it's a matter of national security®.

That's how Canadians show their pride? I need to move to Canada.

Joss Albért said...

News from En-ger-land - the team are currently in the bloody tower, Crouch has broken The Rack, and Rio Ferdinand is joining the Priesthood due to the miracle of his pre-tournament injury.

Great work Mr Randal.

Liberality said...

If this shall not come to pass, at least I've finally convinced someone else in my household that the beautiful game is indeed that.

that's what we need, more Randals!

P.S. Have a nice day! :)

Randal Graves said...

joss, Rio's a genius. Steady trooper feigns injury, avoids the toxic grip of the inevitable blame game. Well played!

liberality, almost. I may have convinced her that soccer is fantastic & that humans are beyond
help, but she still won't listen to metal. Damn kids.

Anonymous said...

Go Doodily - and also go the Dutch.


David Barber said...

Randal, I'm too tired to read the words and it's a good job. My eyes have dried. I've cried laughing too much at our sad excuse for a football team.

Anyway I didn't get any further than looking at the beautiful face of the young lady with the fantastic tits!!

Good to see you back...where have you been anyway??

Joss said...

Oh and a big +1 to what David said. Go Paraquay.

Tom Harper said...

Thanks for the Sepultura fix.

Beach Bum said... a certified pig, I enjoy the boobies...

Truthfully, in the end that is the only reason I got to summer sporting events down here, especially college baseball or soccer games.

Oh Randal, South Carolina actually made the news last night on a good note. The assorted preps and inbred aristocrats at the University of South Carolina won the college World Series, and without uttering one racist remark.

Randal Graves said...

holte, you and I both know that the Dungians will lift that 14k gold trophy.

david, only back temporarily. I've got so much vacation that I had to use it or lose it and now I won't be back until after the semis where we can discuss the inevitable Brazil vs. Germany matchup.

joss, see, everyone loves boobies.

tom, their last fantastic record.

BB, not even a 'raghead' directed at that gubernatorial chick?