This case is unsolvable!

The outside book drop is a veritable Treasure Type Q; never know what arcane goodies one will unearth. Alright, the magic books are usually way overdue engineering texts & those rods of smiting are only chewed-up pens or pencils, but a misty morning past gifted me this shiny, elegant collectible card, unadorned with any of that ostentatious verbiage known as "information."

Coworker after coworker was interrogated & each returned naught but a puzzled visage & though one could say there's a passing, stylized resemblance to the late, great Billy Mays, do you really feel compelled to buy a Hercules Hook?

Thus, I pose unto you, vague acquaintances, who is this man?






















First correct answer receives a year's supply of OxiClean.