What was originally scheduled to run --
Glass concerto in gutter minor.
Oui, I've got some Sobieski & Chopin in my veins*, but none of the former's martial prowess** nor the latter's artistic talent, but the Polish I'm talking about is lower-case, a synonym of the single most important facet of any human being's life, particularly in this post-postmodern life: image.
Given that doppelgängers are, like leprechauns, extinct, I cannot reduce yesterday's uncharacteristic feline outburst to mere chicanery, nor can I chalk it up to drunken idiocy because the flask in my desk*** is empty. But, the top priority -- hold all my calls, hallucinatory secretary -- is the careful repair of this fugly mug.
Thus, your humble host, true:
Sniff, I've been living a lie. Sob.
*not literally as even if I was a vampire, a plausibility given my aversion to sunlight, they've long turned to dust & only Christopher Lee came back to life after being reduced to the contents of a vial.
**speaking of undead blood drinkers, I can beat the original Castlevania sans triple shot cross though probably not when really blotto but it's always good to challenge oneself.
***the reader can judge whether I'm bullshitting or not on one or both counts.
-- & all that was needed was an uncharacteristic video, had a few juggling in the cranium, but then serendipity's doppelgänger, apparently not extinct, rose up & in lieu of breathing fire or lightning bolts or toxic fumes or a cone of cold, cleared its garbled throat to demagogue Seriously® about, even money odds, image.
Specifically, the image presented in tandem by myself & a certain ethnic coworker when playing the role of the institution's public face, committing the heinous felony, the crime against humanity of -- enjoying each other's company.
Douchebag micromanager. Not pictured: the other douchbag micromanagers.
Given the walking, talking shells that shamble about the place in their soulless professional -- parse that hideous word & all it contains & become an alcoholic crackhead freebaser -- mien, meeting & strategizing & shifting paradigmatic conceptuals when not penning condescending emails to higher ups who in turn email their own permutations of condescension especially to one not me, not to mention those even-less-esteemed-than-yours-truly & rightly so members of the Peonage that cell phone the day away amidst other rank garbage that shivs in the back comrades sharing a time block of duty, 'tis comical that the appearance of a happy Peonage giving lie to the always-an-issue staff morale is the threat to the omnipresent Sword of Austerity's toady, the rotund Sir Overstaff.
"Smiling, laughing? At work? If thou set precedent, pandemonium! "
Corporate culture: making petty assholes feel good about being petty assholes.
Everything else: everything else.
Well, better contact all those students, staff & faculty that specifically come to us because we know what the hell we're doing that we are now dour professionals. What's a good color for a power tie?