Thursday, March 19, 2009


Fucking hell, 410 posts in The Google's reader?
That's what I get for going on vacation.

"Yet you didn't even leave Callahooga County."

That's right, former Indian relief pitcher and noted linguist, Dennis Cook. One would also think that I'd have come up with something worthy over the course of those extra seventy-two hours, but to be honest, aside from the Vital Issue of the Day, i.e., fantasy sports, I didn't even turn the computer on and have no idea what the newest Moral Outrage® is in the world post-1900 save for my little hub of self-medicating meditation on being a pro-ownership (get rid of my CDs? Are you fucking nuts?) versifying mendicant at the Mediterranean, never mendacious, always gracious.

Does Jay Cutler still want to be traded to Tajikistan?

Is Dan Rooney the new ambassador to an Irish brothel?

Did AIG return one or two nickels worth of their bailout scratch?

Why am I still doing this?

While I ponder such issues of deep import to the health of my sanity and my soul, here is the 47,339,135,721st set of internets picks of the National Office Pool:

East: Pittsburgh, because, like Kansas, they can't be perennial choke artists forever. I know that's not based on anything statistical or measurable. As if I care, and as long as it ain't Fucking Duke.

South: College is a guards game, blah diddy blah, but Ty Lawson isn't ever going to be 100% over the next few weeks, so why not go with the best player in college, Blake Griffin and Oklahoma.

Midwest: If fairlane was still around, I could rag him for when Louisville got knocked to the hardwood, but given the fact that Big Ten teams not built around Greg Oden tend to flame out, Rick Pitino it is. C'mon, hoops gods, an Ohio State-Cleveland State Sweet Sixteen matchup.

West: Memphis. Why? I don't know, because UConn has already won a title and I haven't seen Missouri play so I have no clue how good they are. Go Chattanooga Choo Choo.


Bull said...

Hah nickel schmickel we're skroooood...what I wanna' know is does Congress really think that their "shocked and indignant mommy and daddy routine" really has anyone believing they weren't in bed with all those douchebags in the first place?

MRMacrum said...

Go UNC! Carolina Blue. Rah, Rah Rah!

Note - Only because my daughter told me she would break both of my legs if I didn't.

Liberality said...

It's always nice to have some time off but I for one am glad to see you are back.

I know next to nothing about sports and I intend to keep it that way.

Randal Graves said...

bull, that's a good question. We know the entire gang of fuckers have been playing a decades-long game of horizontal shuffle, but - hang on, I think American Idol reruns are on.

mrmacrum, leg breaking? Shit. Go Tar Heels. I like walking.

liberality, thanks, but I was hoping that you'd have changed your mind and become a sports-loving nut. See, never trust a DFH.

Beach Bum said...

I'm just waiting for Clemson to go down in flames. I like Coach Purnell but as a team I don't think those guys will go far in the tournament.

As for the collective responsibility of the "people" in Congress. I'd rather start seeing the Muppets take their place.

Border Explorer said...

I'm kinda resonating with that top pic on today's post. That a group shot of a few US citizenry, perchance?

Übermilf said...

I'm glad you have the strength to blog about silly games while my innards liquify.

Randal Graves said...

BB, I'd much prefer Statler, Waldorf and Animal, for example, in Congress than the current gang of chumps.

BE, I'm not sure if it's live or Memorex, but I believe I actually stumbled on an above top secret Soylent Green dossier for the rich. They find the bones of the unwashed masses far too gritty, even in a puree.

übermilf, shhh! I'm at a delicate alchemical point in the deliquification process, and if it doesn't go just right, we're going to have to wear galoshes around you all the time.

Utah Savage said...

And what about my grief? Fuck your imaginary baseball. Or is it March Madness? Whatever.

Randal Graves said...

utah, I've got no problem setting those Amazon circus freaks on fire via something unspeakable. Doesn't mean I'm not going to watch basketball when I get home in lieu of conversing with my family. I'll go look for some napalm.

puddy said...

Why am I still doing this?

because you must dance for us... dance blog-monkey, DANCE!!!

Dr. Zaius said...

What ARE you rattling on about, Randal? I lost you at the vica-versaifying mendacious mendicantational...

Randal Graves said...

puddy, can it at least wait until I get my dancing shoes back from the shop?

dr. zaius, two vices, please! Do vices come in chocolate? Yellow cake, unless being used to manipulate intelligence, is far less tasty.

Spartacus said...

You see what happens when you take time off without getting approval from the blog authorities? Man, I've been back two weeks and about to head out again for another two, and right now my Google reader is sitting at 469 unread. Mark all as read is oh so tempting. Hope you enjoyed your time off.

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, what the hell man, you need to find a less real job with fewer responsibilities. I know Snave won't be around (presumably) for the draft since he's traveling. You going to be missing as well?