Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Placeholder Place

Hunk Johnson: How about that local sports team, hmm?

Mary Jane: Don't give me that small talk, Hunk, I know why you're here. To blackmail me because I -- dramatic pause and don't forget the cheesy organ -- blogged with you-know-who.

Hunk Johnson: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The x makes it sound cool.

*requisite close-ups of sweaty brows and tortured eyeballs in a delicious steadicam tango*

*another pause, less melodrama, more offended thespian*

Mary Jane: Um, wasn't that the cue for the soap opera music? And where are the closing credits?

Hunk Johnson: You think this dump would have production values? What the hell are you smoking?

Mary Jane: Some goooood stuff. I bet you'd love some.

Hunk Johnson: Now who's blackmailing?

Mary Jane: Extorting.

This has been another tawdry and sordid episode of Placeholder Place.

Tune in next week to see if they roll one. In the hay.


Anonymous said...

Hunk Johnson always was smooth with the small talk

Sherry Peyton said...

Oh goodie. I hope she holds the cigarette holder the entire time! I'm gonna bring popcorn too!

Chef Cthulhu said...

Always loved those hottie movie starletts from the pre-bikini wax days!

Randal Graves said...

jang, he was so smooth, Michael Jackson wrote a song about him.

sherry, does this mean I have to write another installment?

chef, man, Rita Hayworth was, scientifically speaking, yowza.

S.W. anderson said...

Hey, anyone who can work "sweaty," "organ" and Rita Hayworth into a G-rated post early in the day is creatively gifted and refreshingly eclectic.

Tom Harper said...

Interesting dialogue. That must be what them intellektuals call "film nwar."

Utah Savage said...

Excellent work. I love the nwar genre too. I'll get out my cigarette holder for the next episode and smoke along.

Utah Savage said...

And I have the hots for the starlet. Who is she, and where can I meet her? Is she a member of the Wulfshead? Does anyone else know you have a secret life? Does your wife? I'm strapped for cash. Are you black-mailable?

Beach Bum said...

Has Marilyn Monroe or Lauren Bacall ever appeared on Placeholder Place? Now that's two starlets I totally go gaga over.

susan said...

Please remain seated until the movie grinds to a complete halt.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ha! I like the part where the hippopotamus accidentally sits on the ukulele.

Randal Graves said...

SWA, please, no praise, I'm merely thinking of the children.

tom, dude, I thought that said film gwar. Now that would be a clusterfuck of carnival-like proportion.

utah, perhaps we should have the Bartender invite Miss Hayworth, no?

Blackmail-able? Most definitely. But I've no loot. You should look for a rich man. What about your state's own Mitt Romney?

BB, they have not, but they would make excellent cameos.

susan, groan. I mean, moan.

dr. zaius, I'm glad someone does because that scene was hell to write!

Dusty said...

Fuck I love this, especially after my hippie speedball. ;)