Saturday, January 16, 2010

Flash-Flop Battle For Respect

A three-way (tie)? Who knew flashing on Fridays could be so lascivious?

But Vladimir Putin will always permit break dancing. Don't question! River, Don your Brezhnev hat with fashionable Eastern flaps or suffer more gulag smack: dance until your femur snaps. Further! Charm all collective worker, collectivnost! They don't need stand to scoop potatoes out of dirt!

You there! Dance, Bolshevik, dance! Here workers are now, entertain them!

*grumble grumble*

Kamchatka! To Siberia! You think Ivan was Terrible? I Terrible!


Vodka will not be Chernobyl swill, will be swell.

More potato!

*muddy road rustling closer*

Gasp! Prime Minister Putin! I swear on Orthodox Bible hardy proletariat work hard for you! Don't look at me like that, Prime Minister Putin!

"Break a leg. Both of dem."


Freida Bee, MD said...

I think you just did about 2.6534 of the 3.34576 things that could be done with that opening line.

I don't even contribute to the picking of the title, because I just want to be told what to do. Even being allowed to break dance leaves me too many choices. Disco, break dancing, the bump, the foxtrot,the macarena. What am I supposed to do, now?

Holte Ender said...

"But Vladimir Putin will always permit break dancing" pleaded Nikita, "Yes he will" said the guard, "but not on Lenin's Tomb."

sunshine said...

"You think Ivan was terrible? I terrible!"
Hands down my favorite line... :P

You had me giggling here Randal. Great stuff.


Randal Graves said...

FB, I did? Now I have enough to be voted to the Hall of Fame! I'd like to thank all the little people, but not the big people because I'm medium sized and they have big boots that go squash.

Have you thought about combining them, a step from each like serialism, all steps equal?


holte, who's buried in Lenin's Tomb?

sunshine, I figure if I can get you people to a)laugh or b)scratch an itch, I'm a success. c)middle finger is also a valid choice.

TomCat said...

I wonder if Putin will watch the playoffs today. :-)

Übermilf said...

You only used ONE of the sentences?


Cormac Brown said...

Da, more potato! More lines next time, Comrade Randal!

Tom Harper said...

"More potato!" Not to be confused with More Cowbell.

Randal Graves said...

tomcat, Putin is already the undisputed champion of everything, so why watch? ;-)

übermilf, um, I'm lazy. Duh.

cormac, um, I'm lazy. Duh.

tom, I could go for a dead cow burger right about now.

Beach Bum said...

Putin is so gangsta, its a wonder he never popped a cap in Bush for being such a spoda.

susan said...

Ah, warm memories of Vladimir and the hip-hop battle for R-e-s-p-e-c-t :-)

Demeur said...

Puty Poo better not show his face in Texas. They don't dance there you know. Sorry line dancing isn't dancing. Doesn't count.

Kvatch said...

Vodka will not be Chernobyl swill, will be swell.

More potato!

I have it on good authority (the nice hostess at an excellent hotel in St. Petersburg) that even Russians don't drink potato vodka if they can help it.

Often they can't...but that's a different issue.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, you actually came up with that opening sentence?

How out of steppe.

Anonymous said...

very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you learn that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.

MRMacrum said...

Whatever it takes to bring a smile to the grunts and put food on the table. Vlad's a realist. A short realist.

Karen Zipdrive said...

We do too dance in Texas!
But now that I know the Kremlin is open to break dancing, I'm open to visiting.
Bring on that balilaika beat! Yo.
Peace out.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

I hope you enjoy Workers' Paradise #3.

(Nobody puts Pooty-poot in the corner.)



Lewis said...

Good entertainmentski, comrade.

Doc said...

You had me at, "Dance, Bolshevik, dance!" You keep diggin' your crazy beats!


David Barber said...

Randal, you really do crank out some crackers. I laugh but I don't know if I should be?? Nice job, mate.

Rum said...

How you connected Putin, potatoes, kamachitka (which if memory serves was a terrible place to own in Risk), and Chernobyl in a flash is quite a feat. grumble, grumble -- thanks for raising the bar (now Ill never reach the vodka) -- nicely done

Anonymous said...

Rather cool blog you've got here. Thanx for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to this matter. BTW, why don't you change design :).

Dr. Zaius said...

I agree. More potato. :o)