Wednesday, February 3, 2010

[Crappy Blog® post template 2.0]

[Roll 2d6, as if playing Monopoly. No, I won't sell Pointless Avenue.]

2. Olaf, metal!

3. Super duper extra deathy spooky evil Satanic metal bleorg!

4. Music played with sheep guts

5. Doggerel

6. Plotless chunks of scattershot verbiage

7. Fun with captions

8. Yelling obscenities at passers-by who can't hear

"That's not a post."

Fuck off.

9. Beat head against monitor until bleeding, then ask the tech folks for a new keyboard, explaining that that's only melted crayon because it's so gooey

10. Scour Wikipedia

11. Drunk post

12. reroll


Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

You say it like it's a bad thing.



Cormac Brown said...


sunshine said...

Sometimes it's hard to come up with a good blog topic eh? :P
Is that what you were getting at here?


Randal Graves said...

tengrain, I said a lot of things.

cormac, thank you for agreeing with me that Mr. Julia Child needs to be more specific.

sunshine, is that what you think this is aboot? Eh? Tim Horton's? Baffin Island?

Christopher said...

No, no, no, don't beat your head against the monitor.

You never know if that Mega Millions or Powerball ticket you bought have the winning numbers selection making you an instant millionaire.

There's an expression that goes something like, "Whoever dies with the most marbles.....," or, toys, or, dollars, or, bimbos, or, you get the idea.

Tom Harper said...

Good, it's not just me that thinks sheep guts make the best music.

Didja hear that, Olaf?

sunshine said...

*In my very best huffy voice*

Well I never!!!!!!
Tim Horton's indeed....


S.W. Anderson said...

Talk about doing anything with sheep guts and you invite the wrath of PETA. Is that what you really want?

As for coming up with a post topic, you could write about the absolute best Coney Island-style hot dog you ever ate — where, when, how, with whom, etc.

David Barber said...

"Gooooooooo......Saints!!!" Is that right?

Julia Childs was once on our screens and she told the viewer.."Now you will need to take the chichen out of the tray with a fork, but when you have asbestos hands like mine you don't need to. And then dropped the thing because it was too hot. Classic. Don't worry, I'm not knocking her....we have Delia Smith.

Hill said...



Holte Ender said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Holte Ender said...

I scoured Dikipedia Randal, couldn't find your name anywhere.

Tengrain said...

Because it bears repeating:

Graves, you swine!



Beach Bum said...

Plotless chunks of scattershot verbiage

Cool, how about the hot chick on Mass Effect 2?

Demeur said...

Sounds like things you'll never hear uttered like "Hand me that piano" or Please saw off my leg".

But what do I know? I can't think of anything to write about either. So just go moon some passing cars and see if you don't make the 11pm news.

Randal Graves said...

christopher, I don't play the lottery, but I'm hoping a relative does so I can hit them up for some loot after they win and then I can hire someone to bang their head against the monitor.

tom, berserker!

sunshine, I was praising Canuckleheadland!

SWA, will they be taking picture of naked supermodels for their next ad campaign during this wrath?

I could really go for a dead cow sandwich.

david, remember, we don't embrace hooliganism in this Christian nation, so please don't throw beer bottles and/or punches in the stand, thank you.

I have no idea who that is, but I know Nigella. Yum!

hill, and dirty up this pristine blog? Surely you jest!

holte, I'm not a famous jerk, but a regular jerk.

tengrain, wooo pig sooooey!

Mmmm, bacon.

BB, is that a PC game?

demeur, will that land me a coveted entry in Dickipedia?

Doc said...

No matter how many times I reroll, I only get an 11. Will you settle for a long series of those?


Freida Bee, MD said...

Here are a few you can borrow if you're ever in a pinch:

Start incestuous meme that will come back to you and provide future posts.

Take picture of plate of food, or messy desk, before and after (can go forward or backward).

Love letters to French Arthurian Men (or Women) you don't (yet) know.

(Also, I know that you pull out the Victoria Secret model as Mrs. Graves and sports stunt from time to time, but then I don't know what doggerel is, so maybe that covers one of these.)

(Try scouring music videos without access to YouTube at work, you ingrate. ;)

Dr. Zaius said...

I get to be the top hat! Or the race car. :o)