Thursday, February 4, 2010

Why do you think we had a revolution?

A certain furriner (oh, did you all forget that America Land of the Consumer and Home of the Bedwetter owns the internets, too?*) penned typed this acid diatribe yesterday:

If you can write 500 or 1000 words on your blogs telling readers that you can't do this and you can't do that, surely you can turn those words into your ideas.
Okay, smart guy, you're on.

USA 2, British Isles 0, 3-0 if you count this.

We're number one! (in debt. Wars ain't cheap.)

*technically, China probably does, but why quibble over details


Doc said...

You and I both know it was all about the tea.


sunshine said...

Nothing like a good "Blog Fight".
I'll pretend you guys are fighting over me. :P

Now.. put your wrestling trunks on and fight.
Yum, yum, yum!


Lee Hughes said...

Violence solves everything. I'm siding with Dave, but wondering where you're gonna find 10 friends in a hurry to even things out. :P

Randal Graves said...

doc, I say we dig up the bones of Earl Grey and grind them into a sticky paste.

sunshine, oh, this fight is totally about you, nothing to do about writing whatsoever.

lee, Dave ain't wrong, but I love me a good bout of complaining. That said, ten? Can you give me a few weeks until the checks clear?

susan said...

I like reading what others write but prefer seeing new paintings in my imagination to words.

okjimm said...

Furriners! Dose guyz dat put squirrel fur in da gloves? I'm calling PETA right soon and reportz dem!

( in the mean time... I ran over a rabbit the other day... do you think the Furriner would buy it? I do need beer money. )

Holte Ender said...

I can here the Scotsman laughing from here, they enjoy English Word Cup defeats more than the whole world combined.

Doc said...

We will spread Earl Grey paste on our scones and wash it down with coffee.


David Barber said...

Ok Graves (I've just got in from work.) seems my post worked yesterday. Anything beyond my 41 years on this planet is 'fiction', so you see, you can write fiction. :-)

I'm already wearing my latex leotard so wrestle away Randal. (That was for Sunshine.)

Holte... "I'm an Englishman in Scotland, oh ho, I'm an alien...."

Regards "furriner", David.

Randal Graves said...

susan, I hope tengrain read that. He thinks I'm on drugs.

okjimm, a Canuck might. Or a Mexcan.

holte, good point. I didn't really think that one through.

doc, I like scones. Please don't report me to the National Office Of Patriotic Jingoism.

david, you weren't toking at work and are now going to tell us that each cell in our fingernail is one, tiny universe, are you? ;-)

afeatheradrift said...

What? oh don't mind me, I'm just looking for the restroom. Was that 3rd door on the left or ....was it the pays to get it right in a brothel.

David Barber said...

I wish, but, each cell in each cell in your fingernail in one tiny universe in the atmosphere of another tiny universe and so on and so on..... ;-)

Tom Harper said...

Damn right we're Number One! Let's see who's the latest punk to have Weapons of Mass Destruction -- Bolivia, Ecuador, Venezuela? They're all guilty. Bombs away!

S.W. Anderson said...

"If you can write 500 or 1000 words on your blogs telling readers that you can't do this and you can't do that, surely you can turn those words into your ideas."

What's with the assault on excuse making? We'd better all be sharpening our skills in that area. The way we're going, in a generation or two we're going to have to make excuses to the young for the fact China owns America, and our country, including everyone in it, is trapped in a huge payday loans program, in perpetual indentured servitude to our masters in Beijing.

Demeur said...

If you think you can just pull up some old verbage from 2007 and change the title just so you can lounge around and watch sports well you better think again. We didn't trudge all the way down here battling the weather and traffic just to catch reruns.

Randal Graves said...

sherry, I know the difference between a library and a brothel, and this certainly ain't the latter.

david, I can smell the smoke all the way across the pond!

tom, I don't think Chavez realizes that his country was founded upon our oil.

SWA, I'll just tell them we were fat, drunk and stupid and that's how we went through life.

Randal Graves said...

demeur, that's it! Reruns! You're a genius! I'll never have to post fresh again!

sunshine said...

I'm going to ignore your snarky comment to me Randal and instead focus on the fact that David is wearing wrestling trunks.

Well??? I don't see you in your Speedo yet?
Move your ass boy!

The winner gets a hug from me with a titty press.... :D

((Hugs)) minus the titty press for now...


Room Mom Helper said...

You don't even care if I'm alive or dead.

I hope a drunk pukes on you on the wheelie bus, and the vomit has such a high alcohol content that it catches fire when a bored over-privileged college student flicks a cigarette on you, and when you try to roll on the ground to extinguish the flames, you roll in broken glass. And then some random Cleveland psycho makes you into sausage. That's what I hope happens to you for your uncaring attitude toward me, you jerk.

sunshine said...

Milf.. is that you? ;P

Room Mom Helper said...



YOU care.

Stupid Randal.

Beach Bum said...

Wrestling? Jesus, Americans fight the best way, Air strikes! With the pilot flying back to base and getting blitzed on Jack while playing video games.

David Barber said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David Barber said...

Randal. You CAN write, as you've shown with a couple of pieces of late. I don't mind your rants and complaints, it's the peeps who complain about wanting to be a writer, then make up excuses as to why they can't. I love your blog, although half the time I haven't got a clue what you're talking about. :-)

So...we too have a crocodile in the sewer, or I tell my kids that if they go near grids etc. There are hundreds of ghosts (aparently) walking the undergrounds of Edinburgh, but up here (about an hour from me) we have a monster that lives in a loch and he's called 'nessie'. Beat that. Although, you did have a huge gorilla that lived up The Empire State who was sadly shot down by your air force.

I am actually English so am a bit out of kilter with urbam myths up here. will get onto it a post them on my blog.

sunshine said...

Poor Milf. :(

Randal. How could you NOT check in on her!?
When you go missing she's in here looking for you..... *angry eyes*


okjimm said...

Ya... right... stupid Randal. Unfeeling, uncaring, why I bet he even beats up kids that are late wit da Dr Suess books, too!

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, speedo? What is this, Europe?

übermilf's 99 cent disguise, I care very much if you are alive or dead. The former, more aspersions cast your way. The latter, mentally dancing on your grave 'cause there's no way I'm driving out there for that.

BB, wasn't there a Congressional ruling that all wars ARE officially video games? I mean, they look so cool on teevee.

david, that's alright, I don't know what I'm talking about either.

That poor gorilla indeed. That happens, then he gets his ass kicked by that Japanese lizard. Is it his fault all he wanted was a little time with Fay Wray?

Oh yeah, bring on the urban myths. See if you guys are as screwy as we are.

sunshine, she's gone a few days before without posting. I just assume when one of you sensitive types vanish for a bit sans announcement that you're giving the internets a timely middle finger.

okjimm, only if they're really late. Usually I just place a flaming bag of dog shit on their front porch.

Dr. Zaius said...

What are you on about? I lost you at the part about the "acid diatribe". ;o)