Wednesday, February 24, 2010

He who dies with the moat, toys wins

The fact that there's going to be a moat stoically guarding the new American embassy in London isn't comical -- oceans didn't protect us from radical Islamic shadow caliphates, rampaging vikings, job-stealing Mexicans and fire-breathing dragons, what makes you think a thin ring of water will do the trick? -- but this is:

The new embassy, on a former industrial site behind Battersea power station known for its gay clubs, will be designed by Kieran Timberlake, the Philadelphia architect.
At least we know why Lindsey Graham will be the next to quit the Senate.


Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

(I'm returning to a classic theme)

If you've never been, Battersea is the most shady area in London, truly a wasteland. It's perfect for us.



David Barber said...

The Uk is surrounded by an almighty big moat and it's full to bursting with imigrants, terrorists etc etc. There used to be a dogs home there "Battersea Dogs Home". They may find loads of dogs bodies there when they did the moat out. ;-) (I don't actually know if that is true about the dogs home, or I dreamt it while licking marshmallow off gun toting grannies in hot pants)

La Belette Rouge said...

I am endlessly amused by the architectural motif of "transparency' that governments and financial corps. like to use. It is so obvious an attempt to communicate a falsehood.

LOL! Is Kirean's brother Justin? Is Kirean bringing sexy back to the American embassy?

Holte Ender said...

The cover of the Pink Floyd album "Animals" shows an almost derelict Battersea Power Station. It's not too far from Heathrow and Gatwick airports, so it convenient for a quick getaway.

MRMacrum said...

Two things:

One is just what are those other buildings? Part of the embassy or just some fantasy neighborhood to make the plexiglass cube look better?

The other is that although the new one will cost one billion, apparently the old one is being sold for one billion. And it gets the US out of the VAT zone of inner London. Now the US diplomats won't have to duck their VAT bill like they used to.

Randal Graves said...

tengrain, right. Like we're shady.

david, that's because you guys, unlike us virile, resolute Americans, are candyasses. I refuse to speak on the second half of your comment. ;-)

LBR, have you and Tengrain been drinking the same kool-aid?

Isn't that presuming an embassy had sexy in the first place?

Why am I asking so many questions?

holte, pigs on the wing will never be the same.

mrmacrum, maybe it's retro homage to Rubik's. We like to throw taxpayer bucks down the VAT. Thank you, thank you.

Cormac Brown said...

Fill it full of gators with jet-packs attached to their backs, because if we're going to waste money? I want some hilarity and to see it on perpetuity on YouTube.

Übermilf said...

Does that mean we won't need any guys in furry hats to guard us?

Mauigirl said...

Jeez, maybe they'll go back to wearing chain mail and armor too.

S.W. Anderson said...

". . . oceans didn't protect us from radical Islamic shadow caliphates, rampaging vikings, job-stealing Mexicans . . ."

This nit can't go by without being picked, Randal. For an ocean to protect us from job-stealing Mexicans, it would have to be positioned between the U.S. and Mexico. As any map or geography text will make clear, such is not the case.

Demeur said...

I was going to say where are they going to get the gators? I thought gators were protected.

Randal Graves said...

cormac, that's a brilliant idea. Think they have a e-suggestion box?

übermilf, I see you've stopped deceiving us with your brilliant disguises. And of course since they'll be taking up mauigirl's idea. Can't fight legendary monsters in furry hats.

SWA, excuse me? With the impenetrable fence preventing illegals from crossing the border, how else can they enter our nation save via large bodies of water? Why do you hate patriotic Border Patrol agents?

Randal Graves said...

demeur, black budget, man. Think of it as the Skunkworks as run by Joan Embry.

Tom Harper said...

Thank God our diplomats will be safe in that primitive volatile country. $1 billion is a small price to keep them safe from those wild and crazy English people.

I didn't know Justin's brother was an architect.

sunshine said...

Hmmm... I wonder why they felt it necessary to mention it was situated in a former gay area. (I was going to use un necessary quotation marks there but stopped myself).

It sure looks pretty. 'Fabulous' even. (sorry, had to use the quotation marks somewhere!!!)


Beach Bum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beach Bum said...

Dammit Randal, We are trying our best down here to keep Lindsey's secret from getting out.

Most of the people in this good Christian state are in denial over 'fabulous' Lindsey who is so light in his loafers the few Democrats left here giggle whenever they see him hugging his buddy John McCain.

Randal Graves said...

tom, I couldn't agree more. Soccer hooliganism is nothing to be scoffed at!

sunshine, once the embassy is completed, that's where they'll be filming the next season of RuPaul's Drag Race, much to the joy of Miss Lindsey.

BB, huh? I had assumed that you were the only Democrat in the state, Omega Man.

susan said...

and the Mighty Craken shall arise from this holy moly moat to spite thine enemies.

Dr. Zaius said...

In this case, the moat isn't to keep people out. It's to keep people in. ;o)