Thursday, February 11, 2010

Time-Life Mysteries of the Unknown

"The weed of crime bears bitter fruit, you old hag! Crime does not pay except when it does, which is quite often if you have well-placed connections or a lifetime supply of arsenic that you can pin on little old ladies because what self-respecting underworld mastermind is going to use arsenic and everyone knows what little old lace is capable of! The Shadow knows something but he's not telling!"


"Do you need a pepperoni pizza chaser?
Does neurochemistry seem worthwhile to you?
Does Prestidigitarianism have quite an effect on you?
Do you recognize the mysteries tipping your fingers if you give me some of your money I'm very hungry today I'd like a burger and some onion rings?"


MRMacrum said...

Does Prestidigitarianism have quite an effect on you?

No, but pushy Presbyterians do. But not near as much as babbling Babtists do. Of course then there's those trendy Tanscendentalists and their cool unfathomable music that has no beginning or end. It is either on or off. Smiling all the time like that really pisses me off.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Here's a little phrase my dad taught me to recite when I was a wee nip and I didn't have the answer to a question:

Not knowing to the fullest degree of accuracy, I hesitate and feel a little delicacy in articulating for fear of deviating from the direct path of rectitude.

That got me sent to the principal's office more times than I can tell you.



Liberality said...

Neurochemistry does seem interesting to me and for all I know it is worthwhile.

Cormac Brown said...

Judging from your last two posts, I do believe that you are suffering from a major case of cabin fever.

Holte Ender said...

Neurochemistry is right up there with Marxism. Karl not Groucho.

sunshine said...

At least I know what Barney's talking about. :P

Sorry. Someone put my brain on pause today. :(


Randal Graves said...

mrmacrum, people who smile all the time should be Joker-ized.

tengrain, little kids never like the rectitude thermometer.

liberality, that's a lie spread by Hollywood communists.

cormac, I think it's more a case of people fever.

holte, what's the secret chemical?

sunshine, are you kidding? Barney is one of the great philosophers of our time. Until he sobered up, that is.

Demeur said...

Now if one million people will just send me just $1 each I will right before your very eyes make it disappear. Now do I qualify as a deacon in your church?

Tom Harper said...

Yup, gotta watch out for those little old ladies with their arsenic, plus God knows what else is in their old rumpled up purses.

"Hey, Vinnie didn't kill him; it was dat old lady over dere."

David Barber said...

I second Cormac's comment. Randal are you OK?

S.W. Anderson said...

Funny you should mention prestidigitarianism, Randal. I was just contemplating that last evening, on discovering an empty cookie jar.

David Barber said...

I'm learning from you Randal, complaining is good.

Beach Bum said...

Does neurochemistry seem worthwhile to you?

Yeah dude, the in-home version is a real blast!

Mauigirl said...

I'm a huge fan of neurochemistry - especially when I take substances that alter mine!

susan said...

For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide.

I'm expecting company from Fox News.

sunshine said...

I know that your presentation is soon!
Thinking about you and sending all my positive vibes.
You're going to do great! :)


Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Try not to think about this during your presentation.



Dr. Zaius said...

"Prestidigitarianism?" Is that a magical doctrine or just a tricky political position?

I'll have two burgers please. Extra onion rings.