Saturday, March 13, 2010

Don't fuck with the library

You think I'm joking? Pshaw!

Since I'm not entirely sure today's young people are familiar with dark age weaponry, I could really use one of those Snake Plissken EMP dealies. Try remaining oblivious to your excuses now, muahahahaha, etc.


David Barber said...

Excellent! I'm just off to return my library books. ;-)

Übermilf said...

Who uses the Dewey Decimal system anymore? I cry foul.

But seriously, do you wear a fur skirt to work? That's awesome.

Randal Graves said...

david, damn right. You don't want another barbarian invasion, do you?

übermilf, more than you think. We don't, because we're enlightened.

Of course I do. I'd be a fool not to flash gams this sexy.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

All this time I've been calling NPR's Neal Conan Conan the Librarian has been an unintentional homage? I'm devestated.

Now I have to come up with a new nickname for him that in now way can be flattering. What other Librarian imagery is there?

Eat at Roy's!



Beach Bum said...

Where's Red Sonja?

CJT said...

Ok first of all - that was the best damn movie clip I've seen in a long time - minus zombieland, and second of all - WTF??? How the hell did I not hear about that one? I'm gonna have to ask my chief if we do arrests for overdue library books cos if so thats just fuck'd up!

Mary Ellen said...

Well...I finally get to see you in your underwear, even if they are furry.

That's just great, scare kids from going to the library and checking out books. Why not just entice them back...return your books and you get a packet of, I mean, a pack of gum.

Tom Harper said...

Boy, is he strict!

Liberality said...

Tengrain: What other Librarian imagery is there?

dude, isn't that a little harsh?

Demeur said...

That's it I'm sending my rabid beaver army. They may be small but their numbers are great. Conan watch out.

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susan said...

The opportunity of seeing Conan or Snake Plissken behind the desk could convince me to return to the library - but first I'll mail in a check for that novel I forgot to return in 1999.

S.W. Anderson said...

"Since I'm not entirely sure today's young people are familiar with dark age weaponry . . ."

Oh ye of little faith. Am I to believe Cleveland is bereft of young people affecting a neogothic style, complete with Dayglo green, orange or pink-hair, enough metal embedded in their facial features to make a table lamp (said lamp being a better use of the metal, BTW), weird, all-black attire and Seven-League boots? Oh, and let's not forget the cat o' nine tails or trusty mace swinging on a carabiner at the waist.

If the answer is yes, you really need to get out of the hinterland more often.

Dr. Zaius said...

The best way to avoid library book late charges is to use someone elses library card. ;o)

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Demeur said...

So Randal you want to be the one to send Peter your copy of the Nigerian letter?

Randal Graves said...

tengrain, bluehairs with buns and hornrimmed glasses. Can't go wrong with the classics.

BB, hanging out with Rocky Balboa.

CJT, UHF is completely underrated. Weird Al!

nunly, I'm not giving those whipper snappers stuff from my prize stash!

tom, betcha you'll think twice about the efficacy of the death penalty now, huh, hippie.

liberality, don't mind Tengrain. He's just jealous because Ah-nold had to sell all the Californistan libraries on Ebay to pay off their debt.

demeur, are you Thulsa Doom?

susan, that's what I need, an eyepatch.

SWA, I don't have enough money to escape the hinterland so all I see are plainly-dressed peons like myself, not counting booze-induced hallucinations.

dr.zaius, and this is why we'll never trust you to perform lobotomies.

demeur, I would, but I've got all my money tied up in online pharmacies.