Friday, July 9, 2010

Comic Sans Font of Wisdom

It's not just for grade school mailers anymore.















Translate-O-Matic:

















P.S. Hey Miami, our 4 through 12 can beat your 4 through 12!

P.P.S. The only offer I've received so far is a free beer from DC United's most furious fan -- that's 3 wins, 2 draws and 9 losses with a -14 goal differential DC United -- and given such Clevelandesque statistics, how can I refuse?
















Branko!

15 comments:

sunshine said...

Hmmm... I thought for sure that when LeBron chose to do a "one hour special" about his choice, he was choosing Cleveland.
I mean, what kind of a dick would be such a dick as to basically rub his home teams face in the fact that he wasn't coming back???

I like your translation of the note much better than the actual note.
I hope he doesn't win in Miami either.
Jerk.

((Hugs))
Laura

susan said...

At least you can console yourself that you don't live in a state where the two rival teams are the Ducks and the Beavers. I don't think they play basketball but last I heard neither do the Blazers.

La Belette Rouge said...

Does this mean that Labron isn't coming to Cleveland?

Übermilf said...

If you come to my town next weekend, you can see this.

I'd even buy you a beer. But I'd probably spit in it.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Perhaps socialism wasn't the right way to keep capitalist hero LeBron in the workers' paradise #3 of Clevelandistan?

Is the menu at Ray's in Comis Sans, too? Microsoft Bob lives on!

Regards,

Tengrain

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, don't worry, I shall chuckle often when LeBron and Wade start butting heads over touches (check out their respective Usage Rates, muah) and they and former Canucklehead Bosh realize the rest of the roster consists of D-leaguers, the owner's son, and the parking lot attendant.

susan, but they do blaze up. Or at least used to. Walton!

LBR, Uzbekistan, I believe.

übermilf, Olaf, metal!

Precisely why I'd never ever take a gift from you. Ever.

Randal Graves said...

tengrain, but we gave him a whole half of an entire turnip collective! Ungrateful bastard.

Should've added in the 56k dialup. Sigh.

Lisa said...

LeBron? Are you speaking French again, Randal?

Tom Harper said...

Hope the free beer was one of those good microbrews and not Bud or Miller.

Randal Graves said...

lisa, moi? Jamais!

tom, well, I have to go RFK to drink it, but I trust BDR.

S.W. Anderson said...

Maybe if there had been a hit TV show, "WIZZ in Cleveland" or "Cleveland Vice," starring Jessica Simpson, Gilbert Gottfried, or whoever, James would've stayed put.

But enough of what might have been. He's headed for mosquitoes, muggy moldiness, oily beaches and the ever present threat of getting hold of a bad fish taco.

Console yourself with that, my friend.

Liberality said...

sorry about that :~)

at least Reggie Miller stayed his whole career--but he never got that ring, Jordan up in Chicago saw to that.

Beach Bum said...

Given what cold hearted guy has done may LeBron fall off an airboat ride in the Everglades and meet the true and original citizens of South Florida, huge ass and hungry gators.

Randal Graves said...

SWA, you may be on to something. I knew this would happen once Bowling For Dollars went off the air!

liberality, should have had one in 1998 until they decided to piss away their fourth quarter, game seven lead in Chicago. Assholes.

BB, does Florida even have any gators left? I thought the Everglades was nothing but condos.

Distributorcap said...

ok -

the ONLY programs that ever get a 30 rating are the Superbowl, the Red Sox in the World Series and the shit that passes for talent on American Idol

in Cleveland, the ESPN show on Lebron did a 30 rating

those poor people