Thursday, July 29, 2010

Easy Rider

As I once opined, all posts can be improved with Putin.

"What about when it's already 100% Putin?"

Then, the fly, a desperate, daring, fast symbol of freedom. Hmm. Do these words decrease the percentage? Is it now only 99.9% Putin? What if I brazenly break national security protocol in mentioning Andropov or Chernenko, once decaying corpses, now rampaging zombies due to Chernobyl's lingering toxic soup aftermath & whose power the CIA hopes to harness to ironically use against their fellow, still living, travelers? Are you fooled by Russia's modern veneer, her meta Potemkin villagery? If not, is theirs more impressive than ours? Because of inherent brain-eating abilities, said organ being the KGB nerve center, is this post now down to 52% Putin, but up to 117% communist? And if so, how can I inject a much needed dose of free-market capitalism?

Sale on interoffice envelopes! Gently used!

Their leader rides hogs like someone who's suavely garroted a man, whereas our effeminate pretzeldent goes on a hysteric-laden teevee show.

C'mon, Hussein X, invade someone new & without a pansy handwringing epilogue. Killing a man & his family while making sure stray shells don't turn his china hutch into a block of Swiss? Being a good guest is hard.


This doesn't bode well.

INTERIOR, library.

Sexy female agent kung-fus office door.

Randal: Hey baby, is that an electronic communication transactional record demand, or are you just happy to reenact my browser history?

A loud report rattles the shelves' contents onto the floor.

Sexy female agent: Terrorist down.

Randal: If only I had gotten my Norelco fixed...



Liberality said...

Hey, Michelle watches the view so Obama feels justifies, er entitled?, to go on and check them ladies out. You gots a problem with that bud?

Holte Ender said...

Putin speaks Russian like a native.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

The Kenyan Usurper was trying to recruit Whoopie to be the new Secretary of State when Hillary runs against him in 2012.

Eat at Ray's!



Randal Graves said...

liberality, bah! Chicks! I wants him to blows somethin' up real good!

holte, I can see Cyrillic from my house.

tengrain, no, not Guinan! Although, the possibility of an all-black cabinet would lead to vast gobs of spontaneous cracker combustion.

Tom Harper said...

Fortunately, that video doesn't show what happened next: Putin got shot pointblank by a coupla rednecks in a pickup.

TomCat said...

Tengrain always leads with the best comment. ;-)

Off topic: Randal, you should have received an email that I had to move the league. Let me know if you didn't get it.

puddy said...

i always thought sean connery was the best putin.

susan said...

It's beyond worrisome when any individual has the ability to override traditional legal understandings. It's frightening because it's obvious.

I can't even talk about Petraeus's guidelines. We're deep inside a Grande Guignol and I don't have any popcorn.

Tim said...

You must be Putin me on.

I hear he's guest hosting next years American Idol.

Hey that's what I heard..;)

S.W. Anderson said...

I think that rather than run-of-the-mill stream of consciousness, Randal is advancing to stream of cognitive dissonance with posts such as this. Or, I suppose, it could be the result of some sort of digestive problem.

In any case, how much better to have Putin equating a Harley with freedom and no doubt enjoying it on some level as a symbol of manhoodery, rather than have him fixated on, say, ICBMs and yearning for 30-megaton orgasms.

MRMacrum said...

I dunno.

Guess it all comes down whose image makes your rock hard.

A short white guy overcompensating with his big mechanical hog


A black guy who doesn't have to compensate cuz we all know .......

Gotta ask yourself

Which one would get more chicks without a fat wallet or a bottle of vodka.

Remember -- Life in it's purest sense is nothing but a process of trying to impress the ladies.

Seems to me Obama man is playing the sure thing.

Randal Graves said...

tom, which he deflected using his vast ninja skills.

tomcat, gasp! I'll check and let you know.

puddy, "do you expect me to talk?" "No, I expect you to engage in capitalism!"

susan, we're definitely backtracking on that front. Desert Storm was far more entertaining, no?

tim, seriously? Groan.

SWA, why would he nuke the top target of internet spammers in the employ of Russian gangsters?

mrmacrum, spoken like a true metrosexual. I bet you think we shouldn't invade Yemen!

Beach Bum said...

Here I am foolishly thinking that just erasing the record of my porno viewing on the browser would be enough.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Despite the fact that you diminished this post to 17.7% Putin, Operation Succomb to Scully is a success!

Call me perverse (please), but I liked this one. SW's assessment hits it right(ly).

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