Saturday, July 31, 2010

"I've turned these cans into can-dos!" "Well, you smell terrible. Good luck to you sir!"

If only they were an elected official.

Christyson said employees finding scrap metal on park grounds are under obligation to sell it to a scrap vendor, then they are required to take the receipt and cash to the park manager or another administrator. Metal includes anything recyclable, including cans left by park visitors or metal discarded by Metroparks shop workers.
You're under an obligation to kiss my ass.

And before any self-righteous wanker blurts out about how these taxpayer-funded employees violated the codes, legal *pshaw* or moral *bwah*, of their job, consider
  • placing a wager on whether that $1200 will or will not stave off the inevitable cutback due to economy still sucking ass upon expiration of the current levy in 2014 my property taxes are going up I'm an overtaxed cracker that's 17 cents/day needed for mistresses and my wife's plastic surgery wah wah wah. Don't scoff at my cynicism, this is Callahooga County.
  • your employment and how much time you spend pointing & clicking, including the 7.3 seconds wasted stopping at this scrap heap to leave a self-righteous comment, you amoral, bottom-line averse wanker.
Public, private, all of us shlubs are shambling for some sector of The Man and it's your duty as a member of the peon class to throw the occasional wrench in His vast works, especially in light of the inexorable expansion of cog surveillance.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to steal some pens, which is even worse because they're not garbage.


okjimm said...

I wonder how many paper clips I gotzta still to equal $1200?

Lisa said...

I was just thinking yesterday how I should have spirited away lots more office supplies from my old job before I got the axe. I'm printing coupons on the backs o old manuscripts.

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, at least a few boxes. And those big kind, not the dinky ones.

lisa, precisely what pilfering reams of paper is for! I hope you've learned a valuable lesson from this experience.

Tim said...

ahh those poor kids....
For just pennies a day you can help poor Elvis. Won't you please give.
Send your paper clips to Rev. Buddy Love C/O this blog..;)

Sherry Peyton said...

My favorite way to "get back" is to not pay for the dogfood and cat food that are prominently sitting in the top of the cart but they forget to ring up. We get about 3 freebies a year that way! lol..

Liberality said...

If someone goes to all the trouble to pick up the garbage (and bless you if you do) that people who are so rude and stupid will leave behind as litter, and if these people want to keep the few pennies they might make in recycling them, then all the more power to them. Is anybody REALLY gonna fork over that small change anyway???

Randal Graves said...

tim, TV-shootin' bullets ain't cheap!

sherry, that's awful Satanic of you!

liberality, sure, bust 'em if they're dismantling Metroparks buildings to get at the copper pipe, but it's fucking garbage. They're so angry, up the greens fees at the cracker golf courses.

susan said...

Boy, just think about how this compares to all the worthless reams of paper the banking uberlords have pilfered.. except they got rewarded.

S.W. Anderson said...

The paper work on most metal removal from the park probably costs more than the metal would ever bring in. Better the stuff should stay where it is, rusting and waiting for some kid to get cut or scraped on it. Pure idiocy.

Tom Harper said...

"...including cans left by park visitors." Can these employees at least drink out of the cans before turning them in? Sometimes there's a little bit of flat beer still in the can. No sense wasting it. (At least sometimes it's beer; other times it's...)

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

I actually put out my recyclables early, because I know that the silicon valley hobos come through my back alley early. Why shouldn't I make it easier for them since Ahhhhnold's Californiastan won't?



MRMacrum said...

I might be okay with taking said scrap, bottles, whatever to the proper facility for reimbusment and returning quickly and in a timely manner to afore-mentioned state facility with cash to return. But only if they paid my taxi fare both ways and a small hourly wage for my time of .....oh I guess $20/hour.

Yeah.....then I might consider it.

Beach Bum said...

Public, private, all of us shlubs are shambling for some sector of The Man and it's your duty as a member of the peon class to throw the occasional wrench in His vast works, especially in light of the inexorable expansion of cog surveillance.

I'm afraid The Man has us by the short hairs, and it only going to get worse.

I'm just waiting for the zombies to enter the scene.

Randal Graves said...

susan, worthless? The records of the very linchpin of society? Ungrateful ingrate!

SWA, you left out the part about the debilitating cases of lockjaw.

tom, if it's American beer, probably not much of a difference.

tengrain, that's very collectivist of you. I see the Red Menace is alive and well in Californistan.

mrmacrum, and as you well know, the drive from the park to the recycling plant is long and arduous. Could take days.

BB, if that happens, I'm screwed. The only gun I've got is Nerf.

Ricky Shambles said...

I'm constantly perplexed by the stupid coming out of everywhere - and so often from the Cleveland area :(

I read the comments on the article and only one or two people even questioned that the policy itself is complete absurdity. Ah, Cleveland.

Dr. Zaius said...

Pen may not be garbage unto themselves, but they have been known to be used to produce garbage.