Saturday, April 2, 2011

Crusaders & camels & infidel crocs, oh my!


















Don't be fooled, darkthroning in the city is dangerous. 

Today's pro tip: neo-cracker soundtrack jazz on endless loop -- think 'outdistances Voyager 2' -- promotes thoughts of murder/suicide.

I should have lifted that Tyson statue.





















"That's loodicwus!"

14 comments:

Freida Bee said...

The other night I had a dream that I was about to be attacked by an alligator, so I grabbed it by something (ears come to mind, but I don't think they have any), and got on top of it, Texas cowgrrl style, and rode it back to some labyrinthy place that seemed to have been mine. And then I lost the alligator and was looking for it, since no one likes to accidentally find their lost alligator. For some reason, your post reminded me of that and not sports.

Randal Graves said...

Well there's your problem, you forgot to attach the GPS (Gator Positioning System). I heard a desperate cry for sports in there, your wish is granted.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Crocs? Or Keens? Which ones did the "mountain lifestyle" yuppie wear to the Sierra Club fundraiser?

In other news, V-GER is seeking her creator and is repeating the homing signal.

Beach Bum said...

Can you believe Tyson is racing pigeons? That's cool and everything but I hated to be last and knowing how Mike likes to bite things....

okjimm said...

ok, smart guy,,,,,, help me out here.... this has been bothering me like big time..... so...

Farmer Brown is selling apples for 12 cents a dozen in a room where a torch has a brightness of 120 candela is 12 ft froma 14.36 sq meter surface.Assuming a light bulb 17.3 cubits fromthe surface has a brightness of 129 candlepower and gives offheat of 1.27 BTU and the room is 423 degrees Kelvin; assuming thethe pressure in the room is 1100 millibar; assuming the lightbulb is rotating at 4 pi radians per half minute, with the power source of the bulb a battery giving off energy at a rate of 12000000 terajoules per exasecond; assuming the coefficient offriction at the base of the rotating lightbulb is 1.679 E9;assuming the room is being launched at 50 times escape velocity;assuming it collides with the moon in a perfectly elastic collision, when the room returns to the earth 6 days 4 hours 20 minutes 35 seconds and 12 nanoseconds later, how much does Farmer Brown sell one apple for?

Randal Graves said...

karl of the österreich, that depends on whether the fundraiser was on the same night as that of the DNC, better dums just don't elect themselves!

BB, does he have a tattoo of a pigeon on his face?

okjimm, that's easy, 12,000 kwatlus. Duh.

S.W. Anderson said...

Forget the gator, neo-cracker soundtrack jazz on endless loop is the real menace here. Owing to the repetition factor, even worse than elevator music featuring champ-pain music makers.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Why would anyone pay 12,000 kwatlus for an apple when they could get a pear and a persimmon for 12,500 kwatlus?
~

susan said...

Have you been pointing your microwave oven at tv presenters once you finish writing your posts? Good one.

okjimm said...

//a pear and a persimmon for 12,500 kwatlus?///

but that's only if you have a coupon....!!! and shit&whiskers...I HAD ONE... but I was walking down the street and these thugs jumped out and shouted..

"We're Teabaggers! Give us all your coupons!"

Damn, it was terrible, cause I had one that was, like, buy two Frosted Flakes and get a free banana. And, I had just the right amount of Kwatlus to do that. Boy... is nothing sacred! And speaking of that.... The GOP is handing out coupons for nothing... really.... they give you a coupon.... and you get nothing!!

Demeur said...

Gator riding? Now that could be the next olympic sport. Far more interesting than watching some stone slid down the ice. If the rider falls off does the gator get to eat him?

thatgirl said...

CPL should've brought in Mike Tyson for that super bird extravaganza to talk about pigeon racing.

Randal Graves said...

SWA, if Hitler had Muzak at his disposal, he would've won the big one.

if, because pears are always more delicious in that sugary plasticine masquerading as syrup.

susan, well I'm not going to use it for cooking!

okjimm, not even for surplus camo?

demeur, did you just disparage curling? Canada is going to invade your house.

thatgirl, "I love John James Audubon!" Much more comic if you pretend that was in a Tyson voice.

Dr. Zaius said...

That's not a gator! That's a future handbag and pair of size nine and a halfs!