National Lampoon's Cleveland Vacation

Fiddle dee dee,
a viola and cello makes three,
I've got yawning void as far as sockets,
Hubbled, yours or mine, can see;
I pity a cosmic bloodshot, foo!
Can anyone help me,
"he'll pay you a buck or two,"
can you spot me a five,
"he'll pay you back, no jive." That's Murkan bucks,
enough to buy shoelaces for some Chucks
or half a rubber for your fucks,
how much do they cost,
"he's hitched, so a bit lost;
you understand the frost."
'tis a wintry mix, some do it for kicks,
like losing for the New York Knicks,
or turning tricks at the RNC.
Wait, that induces laughter,
before, during and after
'cause they're less than Shaft-er,
"though some like shaft when self-loathing
or medicating while touristing,
or hell even Shatner sans toupee."
You're so rude, brain, I'm the one who's sane,
remember, and never chuckle 'cause of my grey,
"I do, I do, my my, hey hey,"
advancing every day as strands retreat away,
what can I say I'm older and older yay.
What's in the news,
not sure 'cause of cheap booze,
just threw up on my bargain shoes
'cause I read threepenny views;
no more enemy combatants,
"are they simply flea-bitten varmints,
why not lowfat yogurt or walking feces,
oh your social graces ain't dissed; reader, please."
Yeah, I, we, should go on and choose,
'cause I'm, us, POTUS of this blog,
to stay or go whole hog,
but what do I know, I know Bush likes some blow,
"you like eggs and bacon and that ain't no fakin',"
sorry for the double negative,
but dig that grammar destructive,
shouldn't chaque jour be Halloween,
"oh, but it is in DC, here and there,
skeletons and closets everywhere."
Tweedlethat, tweedledrat,
this fucking thing's going flat,
"like your verse," don't be so terse,
okay see you later, but first this post,
surely less than the most,
and now I'm a ghost bye.