Saturday, November 20, 2010

A conspiracy, C-O-N-spiracy.

Not even the New World ADAMS Family can keep me from post-it noting nothing of importuning, my brother.

Uncle Fester would make a great agent of infiltration, just a past-his-prime old school goth hangin' out with the emo kids, settin' 'em straight, dig it, hep cats.

Know what's a conspiracy? Not the feds with their back-of-X-Men #177 Spy-O-Matic gadgets or their And-Arbeit-Macht-Three, but the truest black helicopter branch of the Bilderbergian Inner Earth Trilateral Illuminati, the *whispers* United States Postal Service*/whispers* who has yet to deliver my replacement USB cord.

I am so taking a shitload of pictures of federal buildings and posting them all over the internets, go on, arrest me, see who you'll get to open the library in a prompt & efficient manner then, victory for the little guy, motherfuckers.


Suzan said...

You tell 'em, Randal.

Scare 'em!!!


Freida Bee, MD said...

That hits where it hurts coming and going.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

I'm most anxious about the elimination of full-serve gasoline stations, myself. That's one wicked conspiracy!

sunshine said...

A post??? On a Saturday night??
The little woman must be away. I know she keeps you busy when she's home. *wink, wink*

But seriously...
Is that one of the Wayans brothers???

P.S. The *want* of another child only lasts until the baby begins to fuss. Then I thank my lucky stars that I'm too old. :)

susan said...

Mail? You get mail? I think we have a dog sled that comes through town every other week or so.

Cormac Brown said...

The problem is that you took a picture of Karl Rove doing something that shouldn't be asked or told...

...Well, don't just sit there, run!

S.W. Anderson said...

You do realize this post could lay you wide open to being rendered to Northern Belchistan, where the torture of 24/7 loud piped-in Welkian pop tunes alternating with Welkian polka music, complete with incessant references to the bubble machine, awaits those condemned to a fate worse than being forced to watch the Headline News Network exclusively.

Oh wait, Randal, I get it. You're setting us up for your next unexcused, extended absence.

Chef Cthulhu said...

They first need to make sure it's going to upload the Stuxnet virus into your 'puter, dumbass!

Either that or they're going to drop it off with your anthrax meds.

Beach Bum said...

I am so taking a shitload of pictures of federal buildings and posting them all over the internets, go on, arrest me...

I'm sure you made some NSA flunky's day as he sat in his tiny cubicle spying on the massses.

thatgirl said...

Always remember, Safety Begins With Me!

Randal Graves said...

suzan, for added effect, I posted that while wearing a Frankenstein mask.

FB, so it's painfully sexy.

charles, agreed! I for one don't want the jackbooted minions of the State poking around in *my* automobile!

sunshine, unless the missus came down to the library for some stacky shenanigans, it was quite daylight.

susan, we're the most technologically advanced nation in history. We get our mail and ads directly transmitted into our implants.

cormac, each year I ask Krampus for a series of frogmarches and get squat.

SWA, are you saying sitting on one's ass whilst watching a violent ground-acquisition game that's a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war as we stuff our guts with dead bird isn't a worthy excuse, you wanna be brought before HUAC?

chef, the damn thing finally arrived, but no anthrax meds. If I'm gonna get infected, I better get some superpowers out of this or I'm gonna be one pissed-off carcass.

BB, unlike many, I can't say I've ever gotten an NSA flunky to stop by, you terrorists within, you.

thatgirl, words one should always die by!

Dr. Zaius said...

You can still watch the X-Files in reruns, you know. ;o)