Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tales from the Library




"By Jove, I think I've got it!"


sunshine said...

No coffee??




Randal Graves said...

So? SO? Because if there had been coffee upon my grand entrance, instead of scouring the tubes for the above imagery, I would have attempted to pretend to know something about & care more than I do about politics, its gooey, toxic essence filtered into a not-remotely-coherent post, so you're welcome, Canada, you're welcome.

In the future, behave yourself, we still have that single cannon guarding our shores.

susan said...

My ammo was wet so John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Condi Rice, and Stephen Hadley made it through my hastily prepared fortifications this past weekend. bastards.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Re-using coffee grounds will become commonplace in American middle and lower class households circa 2013-2015... sorry, can't predict any more accuratly, my WAFORWURD machine needs a tuneup.


Mr Peabody.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Pay Ese:

Sen~or Graves, now would be a good time to entertain the miraculous coffee substitute, Ilex paraguariensis.

La Belette Rouge said...

I think wine might be a good beverage replacement when out of coffee.;-)

Randal Graves said...

susan, that's what you get for moving up *there*. How about filling a trebuchet with cod?

charles, quiet, you!

That stuff any good? I hear it's vaguely familiar to green tea, but bitter like the Cthulhu-awful Starbucks.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, hmmm, maybe I'll plant some vines on my vast acreage, then use the subsequent profit to hire a private army to keep you riffraff away when everything really goes to pot, muahahahaha, etc.

Demeur said...

What? you're too lazy to walk to the nearest Starbucks? I thought they had a rule about having one every 50 feet of each other.

Good news! Ray's is getting a new shipment of eggs:
"Egg Recall in Ohio Stirs Salmonella Fears."
Well they have to do something with all those bad eggs you know.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

You don't need the coffee to properly enjoy an Irish Coffee, and don't try to tell us that is not your morning brew of choice.



PS - I hear from Demeur that Ray's is going to start serving Aunt Jemima for breakfast!

Tom Harper said...

Unfortunately, Krazy Glue doesn't make a good hair gel. I found that out the hard way. Why didn't somebody tell me?

Lisa said...

No matter what the challenges, you're still lookin' good.

Liberality said...

Without coffee I wouldn't have a pulse I believe--need SOMETHING to kick my ass into gear.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Fuck the coffee, just sniff the glue...without sealing your nostrils shut, that is!

Beach Bum said...

Coffee and Jim Beam, now thats a breakfast.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal blasphemed, "bitter like the Cthulhu-awful Starbucks."

You've said some pretty outrageous things, but that was enough to make my head explode. I suppose you prefer the weak, stolid, dreggy dishwater served up at thousands of hinterland greasy-spoon cafes? Or maybe half-strength Sanka, with lots of milk?

C'mon, get someone from the Southland to send you a 3 lb. can of Luzianne coffee with chicory. Brew it at a "puts hair on your chest if you have none, takes some off if you have" strength. Add sugar if you wish, but please, save the milk for this.

Randal Graves said...

demeur, this is me you're talking to, of course I'm too lazy.* I brew here at work.

*their stuff truly is awful.

tengrain, of course they are. And for a limited time, try the Uncle Ben's special. Magnifique!

tom, I hope you've learned from your experience and have turned your elbows into deadly weapons.

lisa, merci, I just had a little work done.

liberality, have you thought about mechanized boot?

chef, glue sticks smell like corn chips.

BB, that's a Manly Man of Manliness meal.

SWA, bah, and humbug. Bitter and strong are not synonymous. Starbucks' shit is putrid, sir.

I'm telling DC that you just insulted Real America®.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Is it any good? Hell yeah. Much better than green tea in its effects. Bitter? Yeah. I brew mine strong and then add a bit of sugar (usually) or honey (when I'm rich) and vanilla soy milk. I've drank it traditional style with a gourd and bombilla and it's much more actively bitter that way. The real key to the taste is to not let the water get too hot. 212 deg F makes things more bitter. Just shy of boiling is best... supposedly 180-190 F is optimal.

www.goyerbamate.com has lots of info and choices to get various types mailed to you. Unsmoked with chopped leaves only is the mildest form; smoked with stems etc is usually the most powerful and bitter.

Best thing is the stim-buzz though. About 6 hours of steady-state moderate lift, and no post-buzz crash like with coffee, sugar, cocoa.

Randal Graves said...

Mucho appreciano for all this swanky info, I'm definitely going to have to place an order or three.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal wrote: "Bitter and strong are not synonymous. Starbucks' shit is putrid, sir."

I've had Starbucks' house blend or coffee of the day in many locations in several states, going back years. I can remember one — uno — instance of bitterness. Maybe Clevelandistanis don't keep the equipment clean, the brew fresh or at the right temperature. One more reason you need to get out of town more often.

Randal Graves said...

C'est-à-dire, Starbucks, like McDonald's, is shit everywhere. Shocking. :)

Susan Tiner said...

You could always grow coffee on your vast acreage.