Friday, November 12, 2010

Support Our Potatoes

Look man, when I'm Tribal Warfare Day channel surfing, I expect a fresh batch of brand new Hitler Nazi extraterrestrial reptile occult UFO jazz, not staid & obvious Americanish herotastic programming whose commercial breaks repeat said Americanish herotasticism of The Greatest Country In The World Ever MotherFCC® brought to you by Freedom Isn't Free Corporations Pay For It Not Responsible For Inadequate Distribution All Rights Reserved, agitprop drooled forth by a parade of John McCain lookalikes at least they don't crash, an AIM-7 sticking out the back of your torso. So next time, less jingoism, more Nostradamus Swap Believe It Or Not in between hawking some Time-Life DVDs or Viagra or Ritz or life insurance don't make me watch the Food Network or cable access schwing or *gasp* read a fucking book is that too much to ask?



sunshine said...

I'm thinking that it probably is too much to ask.
You and I could produce a new Zombie Nazi movie..... that would be fun, non?


okjimm said...

// read a fucking book //
just practice safe-page turning...who knows whose fingers have been there before you and where THOSE fingers have been! AND....if it is a best seller from the pubic library.....why... would be liking, ya know, ahhhhhhh... holding hands with a whole damn city or sumptin!!! Sanitize books, not minds!!!! ahhhhhhhh....the horror...boogers may have been wiped on those pages! Some evil homosexual may have read that book before you! That book could have fallen into the kitty litter!

Practice safe reading!

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

At least we know everything served at Ray's was Made in America.



Demeur said...

Ah yes Ray's sends out its' crack team of midnight zombie henchmen to collect only the finest and freshest road kill. And should they come up short well we know they'll think of something.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, frankly, there's an appalling shortage of Nazi zombie flicks these days.

okjimm, if only America was flush with entrepreneurs, someone could market the book condom, best used on public library items.

tengrain, all local ingredients, Famous Ray's is famously green.

demeur, why do you think we're trying so hard to increase tourism?

S.W. Anderson said...

". . . don't make me watch the Food Network."

Come on, Randal. Just because they ignored suggestions for cannibal cuisine doesn't make it not worth watching. :)

Jim H. said...

I like Stripes and Catch-22. Oh, and Slaughterhouse Five.

Tom Harper said...

Hey, no dissing the Freedom Isn't Free Corporation. This group of Real American Patriots has made this great nation what she is today.

susan said...

You write the best run-on sentences since James Joyce.

Lisa said...

What susan said.

And I would take a book over TV any time. I can't hit someone over the head with a 600 inch screen HDTV flat screen television, can I?

Beach Bum said...

Time-Life DVDs

I'm actually interested in the Johnny Carson "Tonight Show" DVD collection, if I'm going to vegetate in front of the TV I'm going to laugh.

Demeur said...

I thought they were running Katrina type tours. Come see the economic devastation. But don't the tour busses have bullet proof glass?

Randal Graves said...

SWA, plus, that Giada's a looker.

jim, oh, a banned bookster. You just made the Super Magical Jesus Baby cry.

tom, you're right. Do you think they have an online form that permits me to turn over my entire paycheck to them? Freedom's expensive!

susan, I disagree, but at least mine are more readily understandable.

Cleveland needs its own slangy cant, dammit.

lisa, you can, but that probably requires a lot of working out or steroids, and who wants to mess with either?

BB, do they still have ads for those Dean Martin celebrity roasts?

demeur, only if you're the pope.

michael- said...

wholly sheep shit, you'all crazy! But at least it's all in the name if something approaching fun. Party on.

michael- said...

PLUS! Cap punching Hitler makes me warm inside... if only we can now get a pic of a shaolin monk kicking Cap (with godman sachs pin on) in the nards... if only.