Tuesday, November 23, 2010

(Don't Fear) The Reaper


'cause he makes the best brew.*

Run to the light, Carol Anns.**

*Mug was not placed by yours truly or anyone affiliated with yours truly, I'm no charlatan, get off my grave. Behold the awesome power of serendipity.

**First, pardon the grain as I was walking & chewing gum snapping at the same time. Second, yes, that's Jacob's Field in the distance. The city tried a Costner & only ended up with a localized zombie apocalypse. Third, as once we were all hockey fans, patriots, Georgians, kleptomaniacs, we're all future corpses & in the meantime, good luck with whatever system you were cursed to be born under. I've no solution outside of better living through chemistry because, aside from being stupid, I am too much of a fantastic combo of unarmed+lazy to go for that whole blood-soaked rebirth of civilization gig, en plus, given that all (read: ALL) -cies, -chies & -isms contain copious amounts of the most volatile variable known to man, man (& chicks & trannies & neuters & animal-/alien-human hybrids, too), one can only sit back, take a sip & watch the equation's slow burn, hoping that it's at least somewhat entertaining.

Bonus points if you can decipher this ancient pictograph:


sunshine said...

The ancient pictograph is easy.

Went to the beach. Forgot my sunglasses and since it was too hot anyways... I came back home.

See. Easy.

Thanks for reminding me that I'm a future corpse.


Randal Graves said...

Bzzt. Try again. Everyone knows that cellphones are de rigueur time traveling gear, but *sunglasses*? Are you mad?

okjimm said...

ohohohoh..... Sunshine IS WRONG...

It says.."Eat at Rays. Thanksgiving Special..all you can eat $12.95"

Anonymous said...

Send the petroglyph to Walter Bishop at Fringe Division. He'll know what to do.

susan said...

Where's the chicken blood and black candle grease?

As for your summation, common sense and just a smidgen of history proves what you say to be true.

Tom Harper said...

I deciphered the pictograph by channeling the Great and Terrible Hsreljhreogjdpf:

"All who believe in Cthulhu shall die a fiery death in the year 2012."

Chef Cthulhu said...

It's a monkey fucking a coconut.

And you fogot "-ities" along with "-cies, -"chies" and "-isms".

La Belette Rouge said...

Forget the pictograph, are those your shoes???

S.W. Anderson said...

Nice photos, but I worry about your tendency of listing to starboard when taking them. Uneven wear on the sneakers, perhaps?

As for the last photo, that's not a pictograph. It's a dollar-store rendition of the iPad.

Demeur said...

Randals' in trouble for giving away the Browns' super secret play. Or is that from The Cavs' playbook I'm not quite sure?

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, right. Like they'd charge that much for their Thanksgiving Day special.

charles, I'm a giant X-Files nerd, so should I be watching that?

susan, Windex works wonders.

tom, you forgot the rest: 'along with all who don't.'

chef, what do you have against -ities? I suppose you dislike -sses as well.

LBR, those chausseurs belong to a coworker. Mine are made out of the husks of discarded library books.

SWA, see above, but even if that were the case, nothing wrong with a wacky angle now and then, as long as it's not Sharron.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here today only!

demeur, if it was from the Cavs, it would be an image of a rim warped from all the clanging misses.

Freida Bee, MD said...

I'm pretty sure your walking through a graveyard with your co-worker, posting a shot of vintage vampire cleavage, and your changing a perfectly good non-sports post to sports mid-stream is not shocking to anyone, but you misinformed with that TSA article, Sir(e). My baggy post-Thanksgiving fat pants did not garner me a pat down and alas, I feel so insecure.

Distributorcap said...

is that the rosetta stone?

Liberality said...

Safely lying in my grave mocked by the living--oh the horror! Can't the dead be given any respect around here? :)

Dr. Zaius said...

Forget the pictograph. You can keep your bonus points! ;o)