Friday, November 19, 2010

Fuck faces





















 

I can't wait until this expands beyond Keeping Us Safe® & goes mainstream.
So much easier to further reduce everyone & their everything to a set of crunchy numbers, a nation of baseball cards. I wonder what my OBP, Overt Bomb Percentage, is. Bet the gum remains stale & sharp enough to slash gums, though. How about spending your bucks on fixing that, heathens.

"One ADAMS-12, One ADAMS-12, we've got a perpsh who just ordered tahini CRACKLE with his falafel. Oversh*."

"Hold -- that's a 4.7% chance of jihad FIZZLE, keep a patrol carsh in the area. Oversh."

*I hope everyone appreciates these little sonic embellishments in the name of realism.

18 comments:

sunshine said...

I appreciate! ;p
I'm thinking that your OBP is quite high. Especially after eating chili!

Hmmmm... will you use your Simpson's picture of yourself for your cards picture???

((Hugs))
Laura

sunshine said...

P.S. Love the title of the post. It looks quite snazzy up top on my sidebar on my blog... ;p

okjimm said...

I had a sonic embellishment once....but I used a little hydrogen peroxide and it went away. Personally I think we should outlaw safety....then only outlaws will be safe.....hey gotta run...due at the airport to have my package handled.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, now there's a mildly subversive way to get back at the machine, chow down on a big bowl of chili before your flight.

And hell, if I would have known that, I might have made this title extra pornographic.

okjimm, make sure it doesn't explode!

Jack Crow said...

I think we have to fuck with the online "alignment" and make sure that every third post is the pledge of allegiance, or some sufficiently noteworthy example of Jesus and Jingoism.

Randal Graves said...

"How can someone possibly love both Jesus AND Allah!"

Oh well, something to think about while I'm line waiting to buy wine for a night of TSA roleplaying with the missus.

okjimm said...

//TSA roleplaying with the missus//

...oh wowsers....I think that has potential for a new reality TV show......"Genitals of the Stars" or "Who Wants to Handle my Junk" or "Is that a Banana in your Pants"

Anonymous said...

36489 шкала перевода баллов егэ :-]

Demeur said...

But Randal a TSA nut sack fondling is so much cheaper than a lap dance. I hear they'll roll out a prostate exam special. Giving new meaning to "Happy hour" and lowering our health care costs to boot.

Tom Harper said...

OBP = pi r squared.

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, if only you didn't have a soul, you'd make a wonderful teevee exec.

Pooty Poot!

demeur, at least the customer gets his or her choice of strip joints to patronize. I'd wager the TSA ball polishers are about as attractive as us.

tom, bah, y=mx+b.

Liberality said...

Now I know why you all want to fly the friendly skies!

susan said...

Geez, they're afraid of everybody. Imagine a neighborhood watch with all the neighbors seriously armed to the teeth.

S.W. Anderson said...

"DARPA's anomaly detection at multiple scales (ADAMS) program will produce technology that can sift through the behavioral signs that may lead to someone turning on his or her cohorts, and prevent the action before it happens, according to the agency."

Oh hell, the new technology smacks of expensive boondoggle. The military has had a potentially effective system for years. It works this way. Pfc. Smith goes to his first sergeant and says:

"Sarge, you've got to do something about my roommate, Renfrew. He's not taking showers and he's talking about 'the children of the night' again.

"That was enough to put up with, but now he's eating flies. He even expects me to catch him some, so he gets enough to eat. Says they're better than chow hall food.

"The worst, though, is how he gets if I cut myself shaving. I don't even want to talk about it. Just get him out or move me to another room."

Chef Cthulhu said...

Boondoggle is right...and it won't fucking work...

La Belette Rouge said...

You aren't a blogger who usually makes me hungry. Today I am left wanting falafel, tahini and potatoes.

Randal Graves said...

liberality, because they're so sexy!

susan, if my neighborhood starts going end times vigilante, I'm fucked. All I've got is a rake.

SWA, so Gomer Pyle is our frontline against internal enemies? They'll never see it coming!

chef, oh hell, doesn't need to "work," just being another thin film of fear over all the rest is good enough.

LBR, hmm, I *have* been neglecting my mentions of la nourriture.

Dr. Zaius said...

Forget the crunchy numbers... Alpha Bits Cereal is much nicer! ;o)