Wednesday, February 9, 2011

March of the Cheap Tin Soldiers


















Commiserating with the beautiful brutality of suburban backyard nature, I was struck down by serendipity, soon reborn from the sarcophagi of doubt, a blood-stained soul toting an idealistic totem & off I marched to spread the word.




The offspring scoffed, Doodily especially, when I revealed the divine suggestion of a metalized Partridge Family to help cope with slo-burn economic apocalypse even though none of us are quite tall thus us future coffin stuffers & yet-to-be-pilfered equipment (past the dust-in-the-basement Strat copy) can easily squeeze in the ever-rusting jeep; my sometimes-better-half merely scowled. Microcosmic & quite metal, 'twas. Now we just need matching corpsepaint, & though sad, at least I'm not as sad as Li'l Edgar, set adrift on the river Styx.

16 comments:

thatgirl said...

The verbification of Darkthrone is a nice touch. Almost up there with "Englished" as an adjective.

Randal Graves said...

Rolls off the tongue much better than "Norwegianed." Black instead of gold, and hagiographical, darkthroned tales of Ivar the Boneless teaching the proper pillage technique.

susan said...

We're too old
Too cold
Too old
and too cold
to be 'Commiserating with the beautiful brutality of suburban backyard nature'. Must leave it to you youthful members of society - especially those who have consumed the most beer.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

When did you crow a 'stache?

Regards,

Tengrain

okjimm said...

Ha! what tengrain said....funny!

Randal Graves said...

susan, see, I knew you were a fan. Go hiking, eh!

tengrain, I've always been stylish.

okjimm, shouldn't you still be celebrating? If we all get sucked into an alternate universe where the Browns win the bowl, I might vanish for months.

I didn't realize alternate universes were so popular!

Laura said...

Hmmmm. Lovely and uplifting-as always. :)
Pretty picture at the top. Did you take that one?

((hugs))
Laura
P.S. I think that I can see Li'l Edgar's "thing".

MRMacrum said...

Didn't Ozzie and his batshit crazy family already do the "Metal reality" thing for us on the small tube? And whose career took off then? That's right, the nuturing mother's career while Ozzie was left mumbling and staggering around their copious digs wearing the same bathrobe for weeks on end.

And then there is the wannabe whatever he is now KISS leader Gene and his arguably almost sane family dealing with the trials and tribulations of being richer than God and working hard to look like they hate it.

Both Hollywood adventures should be enough of a warning to you and squash any consideration you may have of staging such folly from the depths of Cleveland. Although such an effort might just raise the local opinion of the Cavs when held up in comparison.

Didn't think much of the tune, but the cover art was awesome with its creaky wodden 'artful of pontificater corpses being lead out of town by the local biker meth freak. Just proves Speed does indeed kill, especially when you listen to more than one run through of "Circle the Wagons", which I just did. Take me now, take me now.

Flannery Alden said...

Randal! Just as I suspected...lovely prose whose meaning was kind of lost on me.

But, you are my inspiration for my latest FFF...

Chef Cthulhu said...

Do it, man! Nothing beats the upwelling of pride you get when Junior trashes his first hotel room and gets his first groupie blowjob...

S.W. Anderson said...

Dunno, but I think you all would get farther competing on The Family Feud.

Randal Graves said...

laura, I did, but pretty? That's supposed to be grim & frostbitten. You Canucks are always in a good mood. Must be the weed.

mrmacrum, c'mon man, give me *some* credit. I may be dreadfully dull compared to those two overrated jokers, but think of all the musical adventures that we'd have to have because we don't live in a mansion.

Cover art by Dennis Dread, the dude's the man. You listened to the new platter in its entirety? Next (read: first) time I'm in Maine, beer's on me.

flannery, I'm simultaneously honored & disturbed!

chef, excuse me sir, be our program is full of so much wholesome wholesomeness that it makes Leave It To Beaver look like a Manson family documentary.

SWA, is that still around?

Susan Tiner said...

I love "the sarcophagi of doubt" and will find a way to requote that!

Also, sometimes better half cracked me up.

Randal Graves said...

Yeah, she cracks me up, too. Problem is, there's never any glue. Thank you, thank you.

Beach Bum said...

Commiserating with the beautiful brutality of suburban backyard nature...

Bwhahahahahaha!

Betty C. said...

Serendipity is my favorite word. In fact, I just used it in a message to another blogger, in other words...