Thursday, February 24, 2011

Here I am now, entertain me

Sacre dinosaure!

As exciting as French King Kong vs. French Godzilla would have been, I occupied my time away from the Hell of Being Buried Alive By Yellowing Pulp -- told you I needed a vacation I don't bullshit on Truly Serious­™ Matters -- by watching footie shockingly not in Venezuela & I have to say, Marseilles & the (real) Damned United (sorry, mate) didn't thrill me as much as the American nightcap, a rematch of last year's Champions League final featuring two of the world's most reknowned self-cannibals, though kudos to Arjen's hammy making an appearance, I believe its second of the campaign.

Baron Davis during his hipster college days. 

Speaking of second appearances, Baron Davis' beard is returning to Cleveland, a first round pick stashed inside. 'tis worth over 27 million through Quetzalcoatl+1? The jury's still out but if the Baron ever starts his own religion, he's got a built-in sacred relic.


susan said...

I knew Rasputin was hard to kill but you mean to say he's been resurrected to score points for the Cavs?

Anonymous said...

Clippers to Cavs. Cavs to Clippers. No one could survive that. I mean, what is the fucking point? Why bother? I think the time has come for the NBA to start a relegation system with the Wizards joining those 2 in the development league. And btw, fuck Robben but fuck Inter more. Maybe Baron could put part of his beard on Arjen's empty head.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'd say Development League would be false advertising, drip.

Randal Graves said...

susan, a half-corpse's gotta keep busy.

drip, completely dig the relegation notion, but we'd be playing Conference sooner rather than later as I'm sure both first round picks will be less Tracy McGrady and more Chris Washburn.

if, Chris Washburn, dammit! Two of 'em!

Liberality said...

More sports writing, yawn. Randal I demand you go on vacation AGAIN. :) And that beard, shudder...

Anonymous said...

I was skiing with that bearded dude yesterday. He even shared some medicine with me on the chair ride up. Green medicine. Powerful medicine. Heap big wampum. From there, the whole mountain became Cleveland. We ended up on the Flats, watching big ships maneuver the channel with bow thrusters. Then, suddenly, I was not in Cleveland any more. Flats? We don't have no stinkin' flats!

MRMacrum said...

I hear Ras Man is some pissed Adolf moved him off the top of the Podium of Evil. Nobody's legacy is secure anymore. Damn shame I say.

thatgirl said...

I think Raspooty has you beat in the Amon Amarth Super Viking Beard Contest.

thatgirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Randal Graves said...

liberality, sportist! Facialhairist! Gaspist!

charles, if you bottled that snake oil, you'd make big loot.

mrmacrum, and it took Uncle Al a whole fuckload of panzers to do so. Behold the awesome power of the Ultra Gaze of Creep.

thatgirl, you had to bring that up, didn't you. Now I'm more bummed I didn't enter though I did save this fuzz from death by chicken soup.

Tom Harper said...

I'm still waiting for Rasputin versus Godzilla.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Tom, Godzilla was eliminated from the Finals by King Kong.

Therefore, Rasputin will have to face King Kong next.

Jim H. said...

Glad to see the Cavs get back in the win column after what was apparently a bit of a dry spell! We expecting anything good from the Tribe this year? I see Charlie Sheen's talking about doing a new Major League sequel.

My cable system wants me to pay more money so I can watch the Eurofutbols. Bastids. I would if I'd known Rasputin was disputin'.

(a back-at-it) Jim H.

Cormac Brown said...

Some mezza-sports pundit on ESPN claimed that Baron will opt for surgery on his perpetually balky knees, rather than play for the Cavs. So it might just be a salary slot to be dumped in June, as the Cleveland front office apparently couldn't retrade him.

"Here I am now, entertain me."

Uh, okay.

La Belette Rouge said...

Can I request a poem or a puppet show or a live action short of French Godzilla and French King Kong discussing philosophy or the arts?
p.s. Rasputin really had a thing or two to learn about personal grooming.

S.W. Anderson said...

Rasputin, bad knees, a beard returning to Vegas East. What more can be said?

okjimm said...

Look it.... iffen you are really really really bored .... we currently are having a dog and pony show at our state capital.... so far the ponies seem to be winning... bring shovel... lotta shit to pick up.

Randal Graves said...

tom, I would totally shell out loot for the PPV. Electro-fire, or the death stare, who wins?

if, spoken like a true provincial Yank. Everyone knows that Godzilla's the real champion.

jim, Charlie needs to pay his hooker n' blow bill. You don't even get Fux Soccer as part of the regular package? Ugh.

Glad to see you're back on the tubes, sir.

cormac, Barosso is so garroted in a dark alley. Whether The Baron plays or not, our only shot at future non-suckitude is the draft since no 20-something young man will come to one of the snowiest, cloudiest burgs in the land, so we could always make him the mascot, dress him up in monk's robes and have him give the evil eye during opponent free throw attempts.

LBR, you know, that's a disturbingly fantastic idea. I'm actually thinking about seeing what I can do.

SWA, Son of Chris Washburn is coming!

okjimm, can I wear a tricorner hat and shout 'the Koches are coming, the Koches are coming?'