Thursday, February 3, 2011

Привет, visitor from Yoshkar-Ola!*

[ed. note: backstabbing's hard work, I know that. I also know that this pointless state (mini ed. note: not State™) was postponed & altered from tomorrow due to yesterday's half-imaginary, half-beast Storm of the Yeti & dude, there's the title of my prog-stoner-death band if ever I start one.]



Yearning to be a part of something bigger than yourself, proletariat scum?
Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings or Mikoyan-Gurevich not cutting the mustard?














Cthulhu is the solution to your self-esteem problems!

[even more ed. note: look man, as I type (mini ed. note no. 2: typed) this, some jackass is power drilling the latest in grindcore riffs in either subterranean confines or Arctic Blast We're All Going To Ice Cubify Doppler Five Trillion™ (mini ed. note no. 3: see, I told you) while I'm trying to YouTube even more shit for this overflowing poubelle so turn it off you unknown bastard, everyone sing with me, nyet to disentertainment, disintertainment if you're an already-frozen hepcat corpse. Some of this is written tomorrow yesterday today I can't recall, seriously, must've been all that ice I didn't inhale, guess which sentence(s) & when & win my unending scorn or a nickel, whichever comes first. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled foolish comedy.]






















ИА! ИА!

*yes, I did in fact unknowingly provide hospitality to a woebegone traveler from said locale (thus proving the maxim gorky that bad taste flourishes in all climes), according to the internets an abundant source of mail-order brides but if you think I'm going down that road, you're mistaken. One hitching's quite enough, Ola.



Rage against the iterative machine, Norway, join these billion Away All Synapses floating & darting & tacking about the gaps like some acidlogged Hitchcockian ornithology, to all the memories I've loved before. Run run run, act now & have sensible insanity slashed direct into your brain for one easy installment of 2000 gold pieces, three rolls of Treasure Type Q & a quietus heard by no one, somnambulists are standing by.

14 comments:

Liberality said...

Dude, you slay me with your ramblings, which kinda sometimes make half way sense sometimes--whoa!

Randal Graves said...

I figure it's somewhere between 10-15% making sense to unwashed third parties, 25% if you're a tuned in, turned on, dropped out book hippie.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Cthulhu is the solution to your self-esteem problems!

Never seen Zionism described so succinctly!

Randal Graves said...

Gasp! Cthulu devours all isms! For such blasphemy, you'll have more time to think about this unnameable transgression; you'll be eaten last.

okjimm said...

Hey....totally unrelated.... but fun.... go Buckeyes!!!

http://deadspin.com/5750000/three+star-osu-recruit-is-five+star-molester

thatgirl said...

Now I want to a see a Cthulu vs. Osteen cage match. Though it might be so shiny and happy and positive I just won't know what to do.

susan said...

Are you sure you didn't inhale? I mean, if you did, it's entirely possible you wouldn't remember, right?

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, even if they rounded up the finest collection of molesters in the land or the holiest of holies, they'd still get waxed in the BCS title game.

thatgirl, Cthulhu has the reach, but Joel's hair is so shiny it could make sure there's no joy in R'lyeh.

susan, there you go again. I plead the fifth.

Demeur said...

So it's the Faux Guuci Bag award for you is it? Supporting them commie bag makers are we? Think again. What you thought was an authentic Russian product make by real red slave labor turned out to be made by that cheap Chinese slave labor. So enjoy your knock off award before the stitches break.

Tom Harper said...

Cool, another Scandinavian metal band I've never heard of. The sax adds a nice touch.

Sorry but the name Storm of the Yeti is already taken :)

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, whatever you're drinking or smoking, you need to think about upgrading. You know, from Old Stumpkiller to Old Crow, from Cleveland Heights Delights to Maui Wowie; that kind of thing. :)

MRMacrum said...

Maybe it's the recent sleep deprivation, or the intestinal turmoil from too much chicken pot pie, when I first read this it made perfect sense. The second trip through however brought back my clarity.

Randal Graves said...

demeur, at least the Russkies use less lead. Sure, the lead's been replaced with arsenic, but no one's died ye....t..........

tom, actually, it's the frontman of the sadly defunct Emperor.

I'm copyrighting that!

SWA, all that stuff's expensive. Far cheaper to simply drink from the river.

mrmacrum, chicken pot pie, one of the finest of foods, right up there with pizza rolls.

S.W. Anderson said...

Eww, pizza rolls again. Randal, you really need to do some upgrading.