Tuesday, February 8, 2011

We find the defendant guilty

You should feel guilty for not digging this, jerkface.

Tales of long-entombed Jackson Victory Tour posters, trainwreck Super Bowl halftime shows but I repeat myself & the brilliant backstory farce of the unbrilliant farce Kid Rock prompted parle Pynchon (must be something in the air) that soon permutated into whether the concept of the guilty pleasure even exists wherein I admitted under gunpoint duress (kidding -- maybe, I'll never tell) that once upon a yesterday upon hearing a bouncy Duran Duran track over & above the lifeblood catacombs of diabolic dirges, coffee-stained pearls flashed a moment of weakness. Fifteen-year old Randal just kicked thirty-seven year old Randal in the nuts & Californistan just chugged a whole celebration of some overpriced Napa Valley swill.

(O ancient gods of death & dismemberment, verily I shalt cleanse this unworthy soul with Mayhem, now that's a riff, sons & daughters)

We can train disdain for X, Y &/or Z, hex a curse on some verse, but rest assured, what tugs at the hearstrings or the berserker rage of the individual hunk of flesh & bone high on select biochemicals remains a magical mystery tour that must not succumb to Madison Avenue Will™, or worse (because the worst of corporates is the default setting), the evil eye of acid-tongue subgenre gatekeepers. Do we fear engaging in the blasphemy of failing to sacrifice on the altar of (today's) high art, thereby overcompensating in falsity, defying the self? Do we cringe at having a range outside the hermetically-sealed norm, hiding from the inevitable smashed face from acceptable taste's hammer? Do we care? Should we? Fuck no.

Par exemple, black metal, once the obscure, grizzled den of middle-class Norwegian disconnection stabbing & burning through the land of ice & snow, paeans to troo kvlt underground ideals & all that vikingjazz that garnered nothing but mainstream scorn, is now a mere fifteen years later meriting Village Voice pieces, Pitchfork column inches & scholarly symposia.

Is art then unworthy of judgment, its only task to bide its time until acceptance (or canonization) à la Impressionism? Again I say, fuck no. There's plenty of crap I loathe, chthonic & big box, & plenty of crap I love that others would nelsonmuntz if lured off an imaginary cliff whilst holding an Acme anvil & vice versa. To hell with kumbaya bullshit. A billion in sales or five, Zeppelin rules, Ottonian encomium or no. Whether the art's garbage or treasure is in the eye of the beholder, the entity actually not/touched emotionally, intellectually, thus, inform yourself chumps, speak your mind, chimps, explore each human condition niche, figure what moves your entrails & save wretched guilt for the imprisonment of whistleblowers, acts of droning unwashed masses, not what you listen to, look at, read, groove on, even if you end up digging Duran Duran for three minutes that I'll never get back.*

*Thomas Kinkade excepted, but you knew that.


Laura said...

Ummm... excuse me but... didn't you and I have a fight.. ahem.. I mean, discussion about this once?
I believe I basically said (albeit in a much less articulate manner) the same things you just said. And you ARGUED with me!!!

I'm off "in a huff" now. I'm wearing a sexy shirt today and I was going to show you. Now I don't think that I will... :)
And I"m sorry but-Duran Duran RULES mofo!!


Laura said...

Sorry-my sisters are arguing, passing all of their drama off onto me and it's affecting me in a negative manner.
I'll be back to my sweet self when they are done with their drama!

Randal Graves said...

Ummm, excuse me, but nowhere did I say, back then nor now, that you can't bag on someone for liking Justin Bieber, only that you should explore and find what digs you, and if one digs that shit, more power to 'em while I go ha ha.

Guilty pleasure = stuff the establishment (corporate, underground or otherwise) frowns upon.

Just for that, you don't get to see *my* sexy shirt.

Laura said...

Blah blah blah.
I can't hear you.

Anonymous said...

chthon, chthon, chthon... always with the chthon!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Randal, like all people of Ohio, is too sexy for his shirt.

okjimm said...

//Whether the art's garbage or treasure is in the eye of the beholder//

I thought it was the guys on "Pawn Stars" that did that?

okjimm said...

Oh, by-the-by..... have the
Cavs won a game yet? Just checking.

okjimm said...

Hey..... I came by to play & nobodyz was home, see, so I was looking around and ... guess what... I found this....

"Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Le premier placard

Bonjour, fuckers. I give this thing six months, tops."


okjimm said...

Hey..... when does your next book come out..... I mean, like, wowzers... there is, like, almost five years of shit laying around here.... but who's counting. certainly someone would want to read SOME of it! Some of the time... write?

Randal Graves said...

laura, shouldn't you be off listening to Rush or BTO?

charles, the world's a dirty place!

if, I can tell our state is Large Marge when I'm likely considered one of the thin ones.

okjimm, I could deal with the Cavs masterpiece of futility if I knew they'd land the top pick (not that there's a James or a Duncan available) instead of the lottery-rigged 4th they'll end up with.

And what can I say, I didn't lose my work ethic, I merely murdered and buried it.

Liberality said...

I feel guilty okay!!! Are you happy now you 37 year old guy you?

MRMacrum said...

Who's Thomas Kinkade? Well, I just wasted 3 more minutes of my life finding out. That makes six total what with reading this post ;)

I just got back from Philly. my eye beheld some hairy art that pleased my tickle bones.

Laura said...

I *really* hope that you're not saying Rush is crap.
Don't even go there....

Randal Graves said...

liberality, you should feel guilty, meat-hating peacenik!

mrmacrum, if you wasted three minutes of your life reading this tripe, bwahahahaha. Hair of the dog art?

laura, hell no, I own some of their albums, but they *are* Canadian. Next time, I'll use Bryan Adams or Anne Murray or Don Cherry if he ever recorded an album, which he should.

thatgirl said...

Heh, my partner in museum adventures wants me to go see Rush with her on Tax Day. She says we won't be the only chicks there, just the only chicks under 30.

Ethan said...

The internet's moving too fast for me.

My Library Connection should be coming home with Lot 49 for me in about twenty minutes.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Good news! I heard on the radio that there is likely to be an players' strike next year, which means that Browns might not lose as badly.



Übermilf said...

First, I was mad you made me think about Thomas Kinkade, which intensified when I saw you made that nice man from Maine look upon its horror, too.

But then I read Ifthethunderdontgetya's article, which contained the phrase "man made lard storm" and I was appeased.

Tom Harper said...

Interesting links. I thought Black Metal had to be from Scandinavia, sort of like Bourbon having to be from Kentucky, or Cognac having to be from a certain region of France.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Dude, Duran Duran kicked King Diamond's ass. Scientific fact.

And may a rabid weasel be stapled to your taint for bringing up Thomas Kinkade.

Randal Graves said...

thatgirl, when we saw them on the Presto tour back in 89/90, there were plenty of oldsters including the chaindoobiesmoking biker dudes in front of us. Twenty years later, you guys could be Geddy Lee's grandkids.

ethan, after you manipulate space-time, make sure you give us your review. Too much critical sediment out there, so I'd love to hear a fellow newbie's take.

tengrain, misunderestimate the suckitude of Cleveland sporting clubs at your own peril.

übermilf, will you shut up? I'm busy stuffing my face with Funyuns, doing my part.

tom, globalization, yo.

chef, the ghost of Abigail is going to haunt your ass forever.