Saturday, August 6, 2011

Easily entertained

These photo essays, though already classy,
could use some soundtracking, nothing too brassy. 

Mercy me, what can cure these No Mo' Triple A Credit Rating Blues?

Drunk bowling with the decapitated heads of creditors, of course.

Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it. Nudity.

The magic is gone before it even arrived.

As awful to the palate as my verse, I'm sure.

But if you're a hermaphrodite, prepare to bounce off the walls.

Insert Thai stick joke here.

That's sexier than a Green Bible.

Now with 50% more baby.

A soylent green fate awaits even you, Miss Vulgaris.

Mango tango.

Hot in the shade 'twas not, nor the night before Krampus.

Hang on, Bear, we'll bust you out!


Mary Ellen/Nunly said...

Why do you tempt me with tasty frozen mango treats if I can't have a bite? The cruelty!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?

We can ask the upsidedownies how they do it.

Randal Graves said...

nunly, that's what you get for beheading my Saxon forebears!

if, that's even scratchier than cotton. Stupid Danes.

Anonymous said...

ursa captiva in vitro!

Beach Bum said...

"Seeking young Asian women who can sing and dance and want to perform magic..."

Yeah, that sounds legit.

On a completely different note, does this loss of AAA credit rating mean we can't use the credit card anymore to go kill people in faraway lands?

Demeur said...

Ooo, poo I can answer the last one.

No Bum it just means that it will cost more to kill people in faraway lands.

Mary Ellen/Nunly said...

"nunly, that's what you get for beheading my Saxon forebears!"

Hey, don't blame me for that, you can't pick your relatives ya know. Besides, I come from a long line of hippie peaceniks. Make love, don't behead.

Randal Graves said...

karl of the österreich, what a bunch of fertilizer.

C'mon, that was funny.

BB, too legit to quit, which is also applicable to blowing the fuck out of others who dare look at us funny.

demeur, cost? Bah, what a crock. We haven't even cracked open our stockpile of nukes yet.

nunly, you can't fool me, I remember exactly how bloodthirsty the grade school nuns were!

Tom Harper said...

That ad for Asian women left out two important details: She has to be good at math and she has to be a terrible driver.

S.W. Anderson said...

So, Randal, you've decided to eke a bit of profit out of the ol' blog and are doing promos for some marketer of Chinese tea and foods, eh? Once nmore, trying to put yuan over on us.

thatgirl said...

The Duchess knows our bodies turn into worm food if not our souls and plans to donate the appropriate organs before turning into soylent greenerye.

She also wishes to observe that hanging out with Bear makes her feet look huge.

Demeur said...

Hey Graves nukes are cheap ya know.

Randal Graves said...

tom, he learned his lesson the last time & toned down the stereotypes, which is why I'm sure he'll have a henningesque troupe in no time.

SWA, seriously? Groan, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to count my scratch.

thatgirl, a liver can fetch quite a few guineas on the continent - curses, decease will hath fallen before the coffers are filleth!!

If it makes you feel any better, there's my ever-receding hairline.

demeur, well dammit then, let's use 'em!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Are we nuking Canada? They have oil, you know.

And Celine.

Freida Bee said...

I like your photoblog.

You know, those CSI gals could probably make out your image despite your bear in window mask. It's a daring move.

Plus, mmmm, baby.


Jim H. said...

What I don't get is that if it wasn't hot, why did you need a mango ice?

Besides, all poetry is about taste, innit?

susan said...

I'm not even going to think about where you plan to keep your bus fare under those circumstances.

Randal Graves said...

if, but they have hockey, so we'll have to knock them out with a nationwide nerve gas, certainly a foolproof plan.

FB, good thing that 1)my arm is blocking my mug and 2)unlike Tommy Shaw, I'm an unwanted man.

jim, oh no, the sun was a scorcher, but the the humidity was a wee bit down, but mango's always a nice treat even during Krampus season.

susan, between my toes of course. Pervert.