Tuesday, August 16, 2011

"So, are you from Cleveland?"

On any given day, 99.9% of the pedestrians are Clevelandia-area natives, so the eavesdropping Peonage knew something was up. Let us don our deerstalkers.

Slow & steady will never win the future.
At least someone's feet aren't bear-sized this time.

Us? Speak for yourself, bub.

For once, truth in advertising.

Noo Yawk? Geddafuckouttahere.

Oh, that's right, Stan Lee took over half of my city.

You on the left ain't the only barely creative one 'round here.
Hmm, better tell HR to revamp my permanent record.

Nothing but the finest fake flora for Hollywood phonies.

Apostasy: I believe in her rust, her abandoned storefronts, her unemployment, her corruption; wow, it's like industrialized "democracy" doesn't actually work.

Gasp! Mr. Whedon! Mr. Whedon! I love Buffy! Squee!

Our functional expression loop collection. How do you think we lured those skeevy Californistanians here, international glamour?

If there's neither filming nor stashing trucks, what's the deal, Frankie Garage?

Me either.

Hey, I wanna be economically inclused, too.

Everyone knows who the true stars are. (hint: the Peonage)


...and then the C.H.U.D.s will come.

I want to know where's the Danger Look Out For Crazy Wheelie Bus Drivers Who Think They're In The Movie Too signage 'cause I almost got ran over.

Story of my life.

Jeez, how much of downtown are you fuckers blocking off?

No, that's not real-time Clevelandia, but the movie set, swear.

Poor sherpa forgot his Kynge's Brewe.

Apologies for reflecting more of the Earl's gams than those of the Duchess, but I'll be damned if I start prettifying up the blog now.

Does it look like I can fix anything, potty mouth?

Skate and die.

Positive reinforcement.


Can you feel the love tonight?


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Wow, the brainwashing is working.

I wish I lived in Clevelandia, I hear she rules the waves...

Laura said...

Bollywood filmed a movie in my town once. I'm not sure how the Steven Leacock museum tied into a Bollywood number but, I'm sure he'd have been amused by it.
I know I was.


Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

The least you could do is get us a nice picture of Famous Ray's, where the Elite Meet to Eat Meat (and maybe Feet).



Randal Graves said...

if, you're simply jealous that Hollywood doesn't want to film in Columbus. Why just today, I'm sure I was within a mile of Robert Downey's dealer.

laura, Bollywood can successfully adapt anything.

tengrain, if you, a member of the unwashed masses, looked upon it's bloodsoaked visage, it wouldn't be very elite, now would it?

Liberality said...

Nope, not from Cleveland. There may be a lot of bad things there like unemployment and urban decay but it ain't all bad because you are there picturing the way. (hey, that rhymed but not on purpose) ;)

Anonymous said...

When your town's economy is struggling, look to Hollywood to "boost your image" which apparently will cause a "trickle down" of economic strength!

The Green Hornet shakes his head in embarrassment for those among Cleveburg's residents who don't find selling a town to be good for everyone.

Kato just wants to kick some ass!

Randal Graves said...

liberality, proof that Clevelandia is poetry in motion.

karl of the österreich, why so negative about positive reinforcement? Once I heard that Samuel L. chowed upon a ten-buck Hard Rock burger, I knew I was finally validated!

susan said...

I sure hope that after making all this effort to be in the right place at the right time you at least got to be one of the extras who runs screaming across the intersection. Or maybe that happened naturally when the wheelie bus driver thought he'd join the action.

Jim H. said...

The Avengers save Clevelandistan! Hurrah! And we're not talking about Emma Peel, either.

thatgirl said...

Hmmmm... Earl/Randal, come to think of it, the Emma Peel-era Avengers might be our closest fictional counterparts.

Randal Graves said...

susan, are you kidding? They had a serious screening process for extras. Sigh. Now I'll never live my dream of being a starving, gig-less actor waiting tables in a faux upscale LA joint.

jim, why wouldn't we talk about Emma Peel? Better than talking about Iron Man!

thatgirl, perhaps. You're certainly as swanky as Miss Peel, but I'm no John Steed; I don't even own a bowler.

Sue Carroll said...

Are you going to be in this movie? I hope it's in the big dance number at the end.

Tom Harper said...

"Believe in Cleveland"

Hey, there you go. You guys have a slogan now.

And I didn't even make any tired jokes about burning rivers. OOPS.

Distributorcap said...

i new getting rid of that 216 area code was a good idea

Beach Bum said...

I'm still waiting for the next Blade movie where the dude goes over to Washington State and kills those damn sparkly vampires.

Demeur said...

Oh please stop. You're making Detroit jealous.

Randal Graves said...

sue, I wanted it to be a waltz, they said no, then they fired me.

tom, cheeky bastard!

dcap, make your jokes now, but when the water wars begin, good luck drinking salty Atlantic swill.

BB, as long as they resurrect Count Orlok, an ugliness after my own face.

demeur, no one else is, gotta take the smug where one can find it.

S.W. Anderson said...

So, when does The Keystone Kops Meet Kasich" come out?