Wednesday, August 3, 2011

We Germans aren't all smiles und sunshine

Some of you gentle readers have noted the bucolic splendor of Clevelandia presented herein. I'm here to tell you, hear hear, 'tis a wee bit o' the lying eyes.

Scum city? You just made little tree cry, not that you're wrong, sometimes.

Destroyed due to the filming of Spider Man 3. Who knows what the Avengers will unleash: price gouging, the Scout Master, altered Wheelie Bus routes.

The pleasure was all mine.

Look, dammit. People, gobs of people.

"Where's the carnage you promised?"

Patience. First --

it's your weekly HOB update. BYOBow&arrow.

$29.99 for that crap is the real carnage.

Commercial entity, I greatly question your definition of metal.

Our slacker godfather! Odin be praised!

I'm the inexpensive shit of hand models.

Now that's sexy. & the girl's not bad either, badoomboom.

Who would emerge victorious in a clash of titanic suck, Charlie, Yanni?

A question for the ages.

Verily I hath told thee Cleave-landia is classie.

I don't know why they wouldn't let us take them for a spin.

Ye olde fyshynge boatt. Oh, save the burning river jokes.
Stale as expecting dums not to fellate corporate.

Still under construction? Don't be silly, that's rust belt chic.

Matt Foley's swanky new digs.

This, on the other hand, is still being remodeled. Still. Still.

No pithy, I just liked the shot, cutting a beautiful swath of ominous grey melancholia & ominous-er traffic patterns. Fucking driving texters.


Those shoes have been abandoned for years, but those holes will sure come in handy for sniping during the zombie apocalypse.

Apologies for the shakes, the smell was something fierce.

John Wayne Gacy's long-lost hideout.

Hey, pal, you're ruining the vibe.


thatgirl said...

I didn't notice the presence of Sebastian Bach and Avenged Sevenfold beneath that.

Who knew that much fun could be had at the Shoppynge Malle?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Did they have any Donny and Marie in that there metal rack?

P.S. Nice hibiscus!

Randal Graves said...

thatgirl, not one copy of Negative Plane, harrumph.

I'm kicking myself for missing Italian Jewelry for the second time.

if, no, & there wasn't even a used copy of In A Metal Mood. Guess we're not as cultured as we thought.

Anonymous said...

the flats and the wurst!

Randal Graves said...

Don't be such a wiener!

Tom Harper said...

That poor tree (in the top picture) looks like it's just about to jump.

Laura said...

I guess I shouldn't mention that I have that Yanni, Live at the Acropolis cd programmed into the hard-drive of my brand new extended mini van huh...?

*hangs her head in shame and leaves the room*
*looks back, opens her mouth to say "something but.....
what can she say*
*so, she leaves...*


Laura said...

But there is a picture of my "chesticular area" on my blog! That should make up for the Yanni.. non?

susan said...

Perhaps I'm not being sufficiently cynical but I really like looking at your pictures of Cleveland. The residuals of early 20th century class will make an excellent backdrop for the zombie apocalypse.

Demeur said...

People? Looks like they're asking for directions for how to get out of Clevelanistan.

S.W. Anderson said...

Anyone who blows $9.99 plus tax on a life-size cardboard "standee" of Charlie Sheen, or anyone else, is a complete idiot. Now, if it was a standee of Dana Delaney for, say, $6.95, that would be another matter.

Randal Graves said...

tom, it's a cruel, cruel world.

laura, Yanni? I'm not sure anything can make up for that horror unleashed upon the passengers of your motor car.

susan, we may not be as pretty as Paris or Vienna.

No, that's it. Maybe I'll get our skyline carved on the stock of my anti-zombie shotgun. That'd be classy.

demeur, that's silly. When society breaks down, they've a ready source of fresh water.

SWA, you have one of those in your house, don't you.